Inviciblity is your reality

Just something i wrote about myself realy about how i see things, about i hate people knowing im hurt and about the lie of just how invincible i realy am. This i wrote after giving up on getting stripes but it applies to many things at the time, heartbrea

Life is what you make of it

your as strong as you belive

you paint the pictures for your eyes

You reach, you grab you sucseed

 

Nothing can really knock you down

nothing can really hurt you

just turn around brush off it

place a bandaid on the wound

 

Put up your armour

fight with no fear

take the battle wounds lightly

Invinciblity is your reality

 

One shot to far

the bullet sunk

you over stepped

your falling from your throne

 

you climbed so high

but it was just a lie

your defence a carboard shield

fake smiles and grins

 

no real defence

your lifes a game

keep playing till you win

life is our creation

 

we climb the ladder up and up

our good days balanced with bad

but then we fall and graze our knee's

but who will come out top

 

survial of the fighest

put down your shield

wip out a 10 inch sword

destroy and maim , kill and murder

 

Close your eyes

stay calm relax

dont let them see you cry

inviciblity is your reality hold tight to that lie

 

Life is what you make of it

your as strong as you belive

you paint the pictures for your eyes

You reach, you grab you sucseed

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Throw it at me.. im invincible remeber =]

Reviews

[Inner Rain]

Very nice... It paints a good picture in the head of the reader. But a few tips...

1. watch out for your spelling
2. im having a hard time telling if it has a rhyming scheme or not, try to be a little bit more definite if it is free verse or not.
3. try to add a little more "flavor" in your choice of words, like you could replace the word "picture" with "paradigm" or "scene-on-medium"

Other than that, very nice poem. :D

[Melbell19]

Very nice. I just saw one misspelled word;
In your first stanza the fourth line, sucseed is spelled succeed.
I love it! Keep writing!

[deleted]

Very intriguing. I am a firm believer that life is what you make out of it. The further and further we get away from perfection, however, things will be out of our control. But the ultimate decison lies with one person. Your work is very good, however, sometimes I do notice spelling errors. I don't know if that is because of a language barrier. Excellent read! Keep exercising your gift Cappi.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I'm just a poet and we're never sucessful until we're DEAD. So it doesn't help a bit to climb any ladders unless one plans on jumping. lol Nice write Cappi. But watch the spelling.

[Aline Montz]

I can relate to this. Well written, just like Natalie below me said watch out for spelling mistakes, but other than that, I liked it.

[Natalie]

I was originaly going to comment on how unrealistic the beginging was, but as I contiued to read and reached the end I understood. The begining, with the illusion of invincibility, sets you up for the ending. I loved the line,

"dont let them see you cry

inviciblity is your reality hold tight to that lie"

It was craftily written, just watch for spelling mistakes. Other than that it was good. :)

[Jibey]

I suppose all I can say is that it's a kind of 'up yours' challenging kind of write... not one of my favourites!