Scattered

I am scattered into the wind

Scattered

 

 

Following my longing I am forever scorned

Following my mind I am forever empty

Following my heart I am forever thorned

There is no way to win      that I can see 

 

I cannot trust thee, my heart, my mind, my body

You promise love    then you turn and betray me

Each time I feel the flutter of warmth and desire

I find myself consumed and burned by the fire

 

Then I am left to rise from the ashes at each dawn

Each rebirth leaving a part of me blown away

Scattered into the wind before the brand new day

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust        I cannot go on

 

The image before you has been picked and pricked

Full of wounds that still drip red and sore

Full of tears and loss over those who once clicked

But now want for me                no more

 

 

Reviews

[TLK]

I am interested by the use of spaces. I am not sure whether I should take them as pauses, as some kind of elided word. Or maybe, with a fixed-width font (e.g. courier) the effect of the spaced would be to cause each line to take up exactly the same width / number of characters.

The phoenix imagery that is alluded to work well with the title, as the ashes can be scattered.

Continuing my theme of thinking everything is down to technology, I also wonder about "clicked". It might be there to rhyme with "pricked", and I can't really think of many other words that would fit. But I'm unsure as to whether that's "click" in the personal sense of two people getting along, or whether it is actually about people who used to read (and click on) your writing and now don't bother. But that might just be a sign of me hanging out on here too much and becoming a little monomaniacal about getting a readership.

[B-poet]

This poem is very intriguing. Conveying the pain of having scattered emotional letdowns from desired relationships that have turned out to be depressing, scornful, and depressing. I like how the overall message is put together within this poem. Great job. :)