The Danger In Thought Part 2

I wasn't going to write any more parts but I changed my mind and I think I might write a few more chapters about Timmy after this.

"I'm angry at myself. I've always just been angry at myself..."

It kept replaying itself in his mind, over and over. With this new found "knowledge" swimming around in his head like a lost fish, he took the elevator all the way down to the ground floor. He studied his reflection in the mirror of the elevator. He looked horrible. He had bags under his eyes, his hair look mangled and untidy under his cap and overall, he looked pretty similar to his description of a zombie.
"It was those f*****g nightmares!" He thought angrily to himself. "Why won't they just leave me alone?!"
He stepped out of the elevator and walked out the automatic doors of the building. He then stopped a cab and asked the taxi driver to take him home. He had had enough of everything for today. All he wanted was to be in his room alone, where there were no people to disappoint him or for him to disappoint...
The journey in the taxi cab felt like it had lasted for hours but in reality, only 10 minutes had passed. He examined all the passing cars, counting how many there was of each colour on the streets of New York City. Fighting off persistent thoughts of self-hatred was exhausting for Timmy. It was almost too much to bare but at last he had arrived at home. He paid the taxi man his fare and even a little tip for good measure. "It's nice to be nice" as his Aunt had always told him.
He walked through the door with extreme caution, trying to be as quiet as he possibly could. School had ended almost 3 hours ago. He didn't have a reasonable explanation for where he had been and it's not like he could explain the truth. Don't listen to what they say. Telling your parents the truth all the time is a terrible idea.
He heard arguing coming from the sitting room. Excellent. He could creep into his room without being noticed! He shut the door carefully.
Now, in the confines of his own room he felt he could be one hundred percent himself. No one to judge him, no one to let him down, no opportunity to make bad decisions...
"When will it end?" he thought to himself. "Can you really forget how it feels to be happy?" He was letting the thoughts win again. He needed to think fast for fear that soon, they would take him over again. He began to blare loud rock music in his headphones. Only then, could he fully block out the world and feel at peace. The power of music is often underrated. In that moment, he felt the closest to being happy than he had in this past year.

Had it been a year...or a lifetime?

Author's Note

I write for fun so I know there's a lot to be improved on but please let me know what you think

Reviews

[Stefanie Holmes]

"be one hundred per cent himself." 'per cent' should be 'percent'

I thought this was good. I'm glad you expanded on the original story! It could use a little touching up in places, but overall you tell a detailed story... leaving the reader wanting more.
Please let me know if you post anything more and I will give it a read.

~Stefanie

[caseymichelle31]

Thanks for your honesty and I'll let you know if I do :)