If

If

A Poem by Chris Shaw
"

(If only there was a choice to alleviate the suffering at the end of life. Written for my Mum) One from the archives.

"
If I could choose the season,
the hour and the place,
she'd be seated in my garden
with a smile upon her face.

Not a trace of fear of anguish,
not a sign of wretched pain,
while admiring pink azaleas
still wet from early rain.

Overhead the winged kites soaring,
spring sky a mottled blue,
a parting in the mourning cloud
would let the sun break through.

Melodious notes of birdsong,
a chorus of delight
would be the last thing that she'd hear
before her soul took flight.

© 2019 Chris Shaw


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Featured Review

such a tender sincerely heartwarming words for Your mom dear Chris, I do remember that she is far from You in a nursing home, I hope I'm not mistaken here, unfortunately we can't get hold of many things in life, sometimes we make hard decisions even if they are painful knowing it's the best to do.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

3 Years Ago

You remember well Light. Mum is 200 miles away. I would rather she was nearer, but that isn't possib.. read more
lightsong

3 Years Ago

that's sad dear Chris, but I know that she feels Your love for her and that gives her more strength .. read more
Chris Shaw

3 Years Ago

You are so kind, and I thank you and send you all good wishes for yourself:)



Reviews

Your poem is a beacon of bright and positive imagery, even if it is connected to a painful situation. It's a beautiful work. It reminds me of the sudden death of my father and the pangs of guilt of not being there with him towards the end. It reminds me to seize every moment with all my loved ones. But most of all, it reminds me that there can be beauty in any occasion, even if it is all just a passing desire in our own minds. Thanks Christine.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

3 Years Ago

CD, that is one lovely review you have left me. There is beauty everywhere and in situations when yo.. read more
Yes Aurora, a soul lifting write. Now if only that could happen then some of us would rest easy and grieve in peace knowing our Mother was no longer suffering. Many thanks for reading.

Chris

Posted 3 Years Ago


What a soul-lifting write! At par with the metaphysical poets up there.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

3 Years Ago

Oops responded in the wrong place. Please look further up the page.
A really great tribute to your mother and I am sure she must be very proud of you wherever she is. I loved the line- a parting in the mourning cloud. It has a emotional edge which really compliments the beautiful poem. It also reminds me of my grandmother who left for heaven some months ago and so I really felt attached to the poem

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

3 Years Ago

Hlo Anjeline. I am pleased this little poem reminded you of your Grandmother. You must miss her a gr.. read more
I was sitting there in your garden with your mom . . . Your poetry is not only a good read, your technical forms are near perfect. Congratulations . . . get these things published!!!
Tom

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

3 Years Ago

Thanks Tom. One day I may get round to it, but for now I'm content enough posting here :) Pleased I .. read more
What a wonderful daughters wish, one I suppose many have. I lost my mother a few years back, and I remember trying to give her all she might need. But it so seldom seems to work out as we want.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your visit and your lovely review. All good wishes.

Chris
Really sweet poem. Great imagery and good form and flow.

Critique: careful of your verb tense. Keep it consistent within the piece.

For example. You write:

Overhead the winged kites soaring
Spring sky a mottled blue
A parting in the mourning cloud
Would let the sun shine through.

Soaring and parting are present tense active. While, “would let” is future tense passive.

Try letting instead of would let and youll be consistent.

Question. Are you the mourning cloud?

Note. I only critique to make better writers! Well done.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your visit. Your thoughts and critique most welcome. All good wishes.
<.. read more
That special love and bond between a poet and parent bring out some of the best writing like that shown here. :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

3 Years Ago

Many thanks Tim. I appreciate your thoughts. All good wishes.

Chris
Beautiful poem. Deeply sad, very real. It touches the heart. I think a lot of people can relate to this.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chris Shaw

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your lovely review. It really pleases me that these lines will mean something .. read more

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Added on June 11, 2019
Last Updated on June 11, 2019

Author

Chris Shaw
Chris Shaw

Berkshire, United Kingdom



About
Albert, my paternal grandfather introduced me to Tennyson when I was nine. I have loved poetry ever since but did not attempt writing a single piece until I was 40. It's never too late to try somethin.. more..

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