Someday

It is so hard sometimes to paint it on so thick... 
I try and try to make it real, but real never felt like this. 
Who am I in this world that I do not understand? 
Who am I to say these things...to question what I am? 
My mind is a hurricane and my thoughts are victims to the storm. 
I just need to find a shelter, somewhere to keep me safe and warm. 
But strength resists me the coward, and I am left scarred and weak... 
Questioning what it is that anyone ever loved about me. 
Maybe you can help me to answer some of the questions that tear me apart. 
Or maybe you will just runaway when you take a look into my heart. 
My heart is no masterpiece what was once beautiful will never be again... 
I opened up to soon and I do not even know where to begin... 
My mind is torn and beaten and my soul is that way to. 
It is quite simple you see, I am but a flaw compared to you. 
I wanted to be set apart but I did not know the cost. 
I know now that my differences are not worth what I have lost. 
I have lost a peace of myself and I can not even begin to mourn. 
A part of me is still looking but I am tired and worn. 
It is almost comedic in a sort of way... 
that when I tried to pull you in I only managed to push you away. 
Story of my life...what a joke 
The same words being said in every poem I ever wrote. 
I just can not shake this, I just can not let it go... 
Will I ever be different? Will I ever know? 
Will I know how to live, how to love, and how to fight? 
Will I ever come out on top? Will ever get it right? 
I know I will try a million times and then perhaps a million more... 
And maybe someday...I will find what I am looking for. 

Reviews

[Yours Truly]

I can surely relate to feeling like this before, I enjoy reading poems that express so much emotion like this. Keep it up. Wonderful write. :)
-Yours Truly

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

What a great way to rediscover and find yourself!

My mind is a hurricane and my thoughts are victims - this is the most beautiful line I feel!

[KeeD]

Someday you'll figure it all out, but today let me tell me you I figured out this that a poet in you surely exists. Till then you keep writing and holding on to these words, for if they don't fix you up they surely fix up the rest of the world.