The Ghost of Valley Who

The Ghost of Valley Who

A Story by charlotte talley
"

short short joke about three men that have to stay in a haunting house overnight to receive $10,000.00.

"

There were these three men, one a chinese, one a caucasian, and one a african-american. Now these men were on a haunting trip. They had to stay in this house  that was haunted by a ghost named Valley Who.So the winner who stayed overnight will win the money. Ok, now the chinese man went to the house first, he sat at a table, with a lamp on it reading a book. (he heard a voice)

 

"'I'm the ghost of Valley Who, aint' nobody here but me and you."' So the chinese man ran out of the house speaking chinese.

Now the caucasian man went to the house. He went into the kitchen to fix himself something to eat.( he heard a voice)

'"I'm the ghost of Valley Who, ain't nobody here but me and you."' He ran out so fast he forgot to turn off the stove.

Now th african-american man went to the house, he sat on the couch, took off his shoes, and watched t.v. (he heard a voice)

"'I'm the ghost of Valley Who, ain't nobody here but me and you."' The african american man said,"'Just wait until I get my shoes ain't nobody gonna be here but you. 

 

© 2009 charlotte talley


Author's Note

charlotte talley
nobody got the money it is still there in an account. what do you think of this joke?

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Featured Review

i was expecting some witty line that would basically turn the tables and scare the ghost, but the ending was good and it was very cute :) good job and thanks for entering my contest! you should take a look at the two others I have on the go right now, I would love to read another piece. cheers!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like the funny story, but why are there parentheses? The former reviewer said you wrote a play on the traditional joke form, so you probably put the parentheses there to show that the story was originally a play, because many plays have actions in parentheses.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

lol funny joke

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I enjoyed the piece. It may work better as a poem unless it's your artistic decision to keep it as a a flash fiction piece. There may be room for more development. It has an interesting premise.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I thought this was an amusing write - well written - and nicely formatted.
I liked your play on the traditional joke form - it works well - and sets up certain expectations in the readers mind - which the rest of the story then plays on. I think perhaps this could do with a little work - just to sharpen it up.
Congrats on this write - I see you are new to the Cafe - I hope you enjoy your time here.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

that was actually purty good lol

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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911 Views
15 Reviews
Added on May 12, 2008
Last Updated on September 27, 2009

Author

charlotte talley
charlotte talley

st. louis, MO



About
My name is charlotte talley, I have been writting for three years now. I am taking writing classes from a on-line study school, called LONG RIDGE WRITING COURSE/ BREAKING INTO PRINT. I have started my.. more..

Writing