Anew November

There she stood in my embrace; her silky, blonde hair rested on the hood of the jacket she left unzipped.

As the freezing air began to pierce my hoodie, I pulled her body closer to mine, wanting to make sure she was warm enough there in my arms. I felt as though I should say something to her, something to help her understand.. to put into words this feeling that became so heavy on my heart.

I squeezed her tighter, her chin now resting on my shoulder. I was sure she could see the car behind me, but I didn't want to think about that. I didn't want her to either. We were here in this moment, she in my arms and me in her own: two tender souls not yet pulled apart by realities.

But I couldn't help myself. I knew I'd still be happy knowing she was mine, but it isn't the same. This feeling would fade to a lesser degree without her near, a happiness I've only just found.

I realized how fimly I was holding her and loosened a bit, in fear she was unable to breathe. I could hear her slight gasp for air. I began to pull back my head, wanting to see her again: her beautiful smile, those delicate blue eyes she had melted my heart with so many times before. She brought her hand about my neck and, with it resting there, she too brought her nose to mine. It felt so cold there on my own. I thought of just how cold she must've been, and wondered if keeping her waiting here was justified. I could feel my body shivering, and her's too. My trembling stirred, growing as her fingers moved on the back of my neck, running back and forth a few times.

I slipped from her nose and inched closer until I could feel the tenderness and warmth of her lips. The soft, gentle playing with each kiss brought a fluttering in me I knew I would miss.. knew I could not wait to feel once again.

After a moment we both withdrew. I began to study her face. I wanted to remember every curve, every freckle. I wanted to remember every tugging at the corner of her mouth that flowered into a smile. I wanted so much from that moment.. enough to last until next time.

"I should probably get going."

I knew I had to go.. had to say goodbye. I didn't know how; what was the right way. How could I tell her how much she meant to me? I turned about to open the driver's side door, trying not to look back behind me.. back where she was standing. I'd never leave if I did. I didn't know it'd feel this way. I could hear her footsteps as she made her way toward the sidewalk. I put the keys in the ignition, the roaring of the vents pushing out not yet warm air. I was once again reminded how I was keeping her from a much warmer place than here.

There, standing in the open door, I turned to face her. She smiled at me and waved a bit. I could feel myself trembling again. My past elation would not cease to surface worries of longing. The swelling in my chest only greatened my quaking.

I shut the door and ran to her, pulling her so close to me. I just needed to feel that way again. I knew it was cold out, but maybe I was warm enough for now.