What Comes First

Find out yourself, lazyass.

What Comes First

A novel by C.E. Turgeon

Chapter One: Cora's P.O.V.

          My sister stared deep into my eyes. At this point in the conversation, we were both beginning to tear up, forcing me to remember my duties as her older sister. Still, Hadley looked like she was going to drown in her own tears.

            "Cora, I don't want to ask you again. This is killing me every single time. Please, please tell me where mom is." Her voice was shaky, as was her hand, in which I just realized she was holding a six inch switchblade. Only God knows where she got that.

            "Hadley, honey," I said, sniffling and crying like a small child, "I don't know."

            We both knew I was lying. I knew exactly where mom was. I knew exactly where Jane, one of my other sisters, was. I even knew what happened to our sheepdog Sparky. But I didn't have the heart to tell Hadley. Especially when five-year-old Caroline was standing right behind her, clutching Harry the teddy bear tight to her chest.

            "Cora, tell me!  I don't care if she's in rehab, if she's in an insane asylum, if she's in prison! Just tell me!" Hadley said, slowly walking towards me with the switch aimed at my neck. Still wonder where she got a weapon like that.

            "Caroline, baby?" I spoke softly, like a leaf blowing in the wind, "can you step out of the room for a minute?"

            "Okay, Corrie," she told me, her voice almost as soft as mine, only with stronger touches of innocence.

            Dragging Harry on the matted carpet floor, Caroline slowly shuffled her feet to the living room, where CatDog reruns were on NickToons. My sisters, teenage twins (what fun that was,) were off in their room, probably smoking pot and listening to dubstep. Hollis and Whitney were just like that. I couldn't really stop them.

            "Hadley, I love you. I don't want this to hurt you." She was thirteen years old. How well would she take the death of mom? I told Hollis and Whitney when they were fourteen, just a few months older than Hadley, and they turned to pot. Hadley was more sensitive; how would she react?

            "Cora," Hadley said, sighing and dropping the switch onto our ugly tan hallway carpet, "I just need to know." She started to cry, and I mean REALLY cry.

            "Hadley…Mom's…dead."

            She just turned and walked into the room her and Caroline shared. Surprisingly, for a thirteen year old, Hadley was pretty fine with Caroline sharing a room with her. I was pretty thankful for that.

            Hadley didn't take the news well. But that's just the way she processed information. Hadley Rose Banks, born August 19th, 1998. She was sensitive, caring, and had a love for One Direction so large it was infectious. She was passionate about helping people, although we could barely get along ourselves. Hadley wasn't especially smart, or witty, or comical. But she was special in her own way. She had character, that one. She was so sweet and gentle, but she was assertive when necessary. She had passion; and anyone who knew her could easily recognize that.

            Hollis Cade was probably my favorite sister, aside from Caroline, of course. Hollis loved music of any kind and had a very open mind. She was intellectual, but she didn't exactly apply herself at school. She was barely pulling along, with mostly Cs and Bs, with the occasional A and always a D or two. Never an F. But her grades weren't golden, so to speak. Her birthday was a few days before Independence Day; June 30th, 1995. She loved bright colors, and was always dying her hair. As I mentioned before, she did smoke weed, but not nearly as much as Whitney. Hollis was witty, loving, and would do anything for the rest of us.

            Whitney Nichole, on the other hand, was much more of a handful. She and Hollis shared a birthday, a room, and a TV, but they were nothing alike and often bickered like squirrels. She never used her common sense; ever. Whitney wasn't exactly too bright either, especially compared to me or Hollis. Whitney had a boyfriend named Graham who everyone else in our close-knit family of sisters HATED. Graham was gross; and I mean gross. I can't even begin to describe how morbidly disgusting he was. She typically meant well though, and she was my baby sister no matter what-I'd always love her.

            Caroline Felicity was the baby of the family. She was the youngest at only five years old. She was a lot like Hollis in a sense; she just GOT things. She was very sweet, funny, and she was pretty damn adorable. She had loose blonde curls and hunter green eyes, with baby pink lips. She was always dressing herself cutely and uniquely; she was extremely funky-artsy for her age. The thing about Caroline, though, was that she was so fragile; breaking her was so easy. Everyone in the family had to really watch themselves around Caroline, which was why I was so surprised that Hadley held that switch at my face while Caroline was three feet behind her.

            There was also Jane Cherise-the real oldest in our family. Everyone thought she had disappeared, when in reality, she had saved up for college and left. She was getting what she wanted. Why should I stop her? She was creative and kind, but she had severe commitment issues, aka the reason I was put in charge of this family. It also didn't help that my dad's in prison and my mom's deceased. To be honest, us five got along just fine without her. I had natural leadership skills.

And of course we had me, Cora Laney. I was happy in my position; 23 and raising two 16 year olds, a 13 year old, and a 5 year old, by myself. You'd think I'm being sarcastic, but I'm really not. I love my sisters; I'm like the Darry Curtis of my family. Coincidentally, Hollis's middle name is Cade because of Johnny from the Outsiders. My parents? S.E. Hinton=idol to them. It was funny; each one of us got a copy of the book when we turned eleven. I still have the one I'm gonna need to give to Caroline. Anyway, I'm pretty short for my age, Whitney and Hollis only an inch shorter than me. I was born a writer; admiring Lois Lowry, Wilson Rawls, S.E. Hinton(obviously,) and Shakespeare. I also liked poetry; Robert Frost for the serious business, and Shel Silverstein for when I needed to smile. And growing up in my childhood? Smiling was a difficult thing to do.

"Jesus, Whitney! You're gonna let your stupid plane flying 24/7 boyfriend light the f*****g beds on fire!" I heard Hollis yelling. "Just light the damn joint for him so we don't all f*****g burn to death!"

"Mother of f*****g God," I groaned. Whitney and Graham were the last things I wanted to deal with right now.

I walk in and Hollis, who has apparently dyed her hair blonde with pink bangs and underneath, is screaming like a mad man and pointing a broken beer bottle, probably left by Graham, right at his face.

"Whitney," Graham said, taking a hit off of his joint, "tell your bitchy sister to lay off." I really didn't want to talk to Graham. I talked to Hollis about banning him from the house, but she said to wait, because Graham is the only thing that truly makes Whitney happy. I didn't really see how, but if it floated her boat, I guess I'd let him stay.

What a f*****g mistake that was.

Graham's eyes were glassy, and his breath reeked of marijuana. I wanted to deck him in the face.

"Graham, there is no pot allowed in my house," I said sternly. Graham laughed in my face. I was beyond tempted to strangle him.

"Really? How come Whitney and Hollis can smoke this s**t whenever they want and you don't give a s**t? Where do you think they get their s**t from?" Graham said sarcastically. It took so much patience and determination to take Hadley's switchblade and mutilate his face.

"Is your mom dead?" I asked, crossing my arms and tapping my foot.

"No," he said stupidly.

"Then you can't smoke pot in our house. So leave it at home or get the f**k off my property. You're absolutely vile. You're lucky I allow you here at all, got it?" I was so angry. I couldn't help myself. Whitney must've only taken a hit or two, because she got all bitchy and defensive as soon as I said that.

"NO! Cora, he's the only thing that makes me happy!" Whitney shrieked pleadingly.

"Really, Whitney? Your own sisters don’t make you happy? If that's really how you feel about us, you can just leave and move in with Graham and his incredibly loving and responsible parents." I said rudely, attitude screaming from my words. I couldn't take his bullshit anymore. I just had to do something.

"No, Cora, that's not what I meant."

"Obviously it is if he's the only thing that makes you happy. You're free to leave whenever you want."

"Cora, no," Hollis said, defending Whitney, "she meant beside us. I can tell."

"Alright," I said, leaving the room, but my head still poking inside. "I have to comfort Hadley. I just told her about mom." I sighed, Hollis covered her mouth, and Whitney just burrowed under her bottom bunk blanket. Graham was laughing like an idiot. I felt like choking that stupid b*****d.

I heard Hadley's sobs from a few feet outside the door. I was afraid things were gonna get ugly.

"Hey, sweet pea," I said, slowly opening the door and entering. She was smothered in all her blankets and she was holding Quackie, her old stuffed duck. I stroked her hair and climbed up the ladder and into her top bunk bed.

"I can't believe Mom's dead. How did this even happen?" she choked out, still squeezing Quackie tight to her chest.

"Even Hollis doesn't know that," I told her. She understood, knowing I told Hollis everything.

            "I just don't know anymore," she sighed, and I handed her the white iPod touch on her dresser. She grinned at me. "You make it so hard, Cora."

            "So hard to do what?" I asked, smiling.

            "To get mad at you." We both smiled.

            "Which reminds me, there will certainly be a consequence for pointing a switchblade at my face there, young lady."

            "I understand that," she said, sulking.

            "You'll need to rest. You got a hell of a lot of info you didn't exactly want today."

            "No kidding, huh?" she said, smiling a bit. I ruffled her hair.

            "Stay strong, Haddie."

            "I will, Corrie." She said, laughing, just a little bit.

            I left quietly, watching her through the peephole. I was hearing One Direction from the hallway, but her day was rough, so I cut her some slack.

            After that, when Graham was passed out on the floor, I basically dragged him out of the house and locked the door. Hollis was crying. Great.

            "I hate him, Cora," Hollis said when I walked into the room. She was doing the same thing Hadley was; hibernation under blankets.

            "I know, Holly, I do, too," I said, tearing up a bit myself. I was so torn about Graham Bennett. And his brother, Nate, who seemed to have a major crush on Hollis. It was cute, considering him and Graham were absolute opposites. I was grateful there were better guys for Hollis. But Whitney needed someone better, too.

            "But it's not like we can kick him out," Hollis groaned, sniffling.

            "Why not?" I asked. This intrigued me a bit.

            "Because…oh fuckshit. I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

            "Hollis, just tell me," I sighed. This was going to be difficult. This intrigued me a bit.

            "Because…oh fuckshit. I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

            "Hollis, just tell me," I sighed. This was going to be difficult.

            "No, Cora. Whitney will tell you herself when the time arises."

            "Fair enough." I said. I kissed her forehead and went to go snuggle with Caroline on the living room couch. She was perfectly intent watching Arthur on Public TV.

            "Corrie! Look! It's Francine, my favorite," she said, smiling, squeezing Harry's neck tighter each time she giggled. Caroline was so sweet.

            "D.W. is my favorite, because she's funny," I said, sitting down beside her. I pulled a maroon fleece blanket across me. I was so exhausted. I didn't wanna take care of the girls for today. If I wanted to, I could leave for a few hours and leave Hollis in charge, but I wanted to be more responsible and just take care of it myself. I decided I would just occupy myself like a normal human being.

            "Corrie," Caroline said, turning to face me, "why are you and Holly always mad at Graham?"

            "Well, Caroline," I said slowly, breathing in deeply, pretty unsure of what to say, "Graham does naughty things in Whitney and Holly's room, and it's driving me pretty insane. And he doesn't listen."

            "Can I tell you a secret?" Caroline said very softly, hugging Harry very tight to her chest.

            "Go ahead, honey," I said, not at all expecting to hear what I did.

            "Graham hurt me once."

            "Where…?" I asked, a sudden pang of hatred for Graham filling up inside of me.

            And when Caroline opened her legs and pointed in between them, I knew there was going to be a very big problem with Graham Bennett.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Two: Hollis's P.O.V.

            I stared out the window. I hated myself for letting Graham f*****g Bennett and Whitney get me into pot. Our room reeked, and if we were ever going to get checked out by the police or the state, we'd be screwed.

            I wanted to escape; even Cora and Hadley had no idea what was going on in my head. Everything with Nate, Lydia's sexuality confusion, the way Justin and Keegan were bullying me at school.

            It was stinging how badly I wanted to cut again. But to remain seemingly fine, I only did once per day. I thought of breaking my promise to Lydia of once a day, but I didn't know if I could hurt her that badly. Because knowing Lydia, she would notice.

            I put on my navy Hollister (my nickname) sweatshirt and opened the door to Hadley's room. Her face was red and puffy. I felt bad. I crawled up into her bed and hugged her, stroking her hair and singing "Moments" by One Direction for her. Hadley needed love; that's what I needed when Cora told me.

            "Did Cora tell you how or why mom died?" she asked me softly, sniffling a little.

            She did, but why would I tell her that? Cora probably told her she didn't, and I wouldn't want to make Cora look like a liar. Besides, Cora told me last month and I'm still horrified. Hadley's too young to know.

            "Nope," I said, trying hard not to bite my lip, "she didn't. I'm sure it's not pretty, so I wouldn't really worry and just know she died loving every one of us."

            "You're right. Thanks, Hollis," she said, and I slid under her blankets. Before I knew it, we were both fast asleep.

            About two hours later, when it's about seven, Cora puts Caroline to bed and tells me to get out of Hadley's bed.

            "Hollis," Cora said, choking on tears and misery, and probably hatred, "Caroline basically just told me Graham sexually abused her."

            "That f*****g b*****d's gonna die," I hissed, pure and bitter hatred pouring out of my mouth with every muscle in my body, and I charged toward the door.

            Cora leaped in front of the door. "NO."

            "Let me hurt him! NO ONE HURTS MY CAROLINE!" I practically clawed her face off.

            "We cannot let Graham know we know, okay? WE CAN'T LET HIM FIND THIS OUT." Cora hissed. I slumped against the door and slid down, crying.

            "Well, what did she say?" I asked, wiping tears from my eyes with my finger.

            "She asked why you and I were mad at Graham, and then said 'he hurt me once.' I asked where, and she opened her legs and pointed…God, why…how…just EW!" and Cora began to sob beside me.

            "The worst thing is-Whitney is pregnant with his baby…" I said. Apparently, Whitney overheard me, because when I said that, she punched me in the face so hard I went unconscious. This would make me look classy at school.

            "Hey, Hollis," said Nate. He was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes.

            "What…how…?"

            "Shh. It's okay. I'm here now." Nate said, before kissing me. I loved Nate's kisses. He was so gentle and sweet, and yet he could be passionate and romantic, too. It really depended.

            "Did Cora tell you…?" I asked, trembling.

            "Yeah, she did. Look, I knew something was up with Graham. Hey, I live with him," Nate told me, stroking my hair gently.

            I observed him. Nate had deep, grayish blue eyes and flippy honey blond hair. He was gorgeous, but that wasn't really why I loved him.

            Nate was so relatable. We liked so many of the same things. He would sing to me whenever I was sad, and he always knew just what to sing to me. When I was dating Damian Odiorne, Lydia's brother, he'd sing "More Than This" by One Direction whenever I'd cry over something stupid he'd do. When he was sorry for something he said, he'd sing me "Fall For You" by Secondhand Serenade. When I was crying because of my family or getting bullied at school, he'd kiss me gently and sing me "Firework" by Katy Perry. He was proud to be around me, and I got the "Stay gold" lecture from him all the time.

            I actually stopped smoking weed because of Nate. Well, partially because of Graham and how ugly he got when he was high and stuff, but mostly because Nate wanted me to stop. He crawled into my bed and kicked off his shoes. And unlike his brother, it wasn't to have sex with me. He crawled into my bed to sing to me and hold me while I groaned over the pain in my swelling eye. I couldn't ask for a better guy.

            "How's everything going with Lydia? Is she a lesbian or not?" Nate asked, fiddling with my necklace from him for my birthday last year.

            "I think she is, but she won't really admit it to me yet," I told him, snuggling my face against his chest.

            His plaid flannel shirt was soft and warm, and I heard his heart beating in his chest. He was amazing; why hadn't I realized this sooner? I opened up the buttons to reveal a plain white tee shirt, and I cozied up inside his shirt. He wrapped his arms around my upper stomach and kissed the top of my head.

            "Hollis," he said quietly, "I love you."

            "I love you, too, Nate," I said very softly, kissing his lips gently and slowly.

            I eventually fell asleep in his arms, waking up suddenly after a nightmare where I was chasing after Caroline, who was running from a dark, shadowy figure.

            I couldn't believe Whitney hit me. The Banks family was not about smacking each other to get our point across. But honestly, Whitney had never really fit in with us, a lot like Jane didn't. But Jane was also much older than the rest of us, considering mom had her at fifteen. She's nineteen years older than Caroline. Even Whitney and Jane's names didn't coordinate like ours; Hollis and Hadley, Cora and Caroline.

            I felt Nate still pressed up against me. His warmth continued radiating off of him, and I lay still, wishing to be stuck in that moment forever, only to be interrupted by a crying Hadley.

            "Hollis! Hollis!" she was shrieking, choking on tears and gasped air. I sat up abruptly.

            "What's wrong?" I asked, protective mama bear mode in full gear. Nate sat up, too, seeming just as concerned as I was.

            "Whitney just knocked out Cora and took off with Graham; I don’t know what else-"

            "Whoa, whoa, whoa," I cut her off, "Whitney hit Cora so hard she went out cold? Cora's way stronger than I am. How did that happen?" I hadn't despised a family member more in a long time.

            Well, with the exception of Dad, of course.

            But it would be a long while before I'd feel comfortable talking about what happened to him.

            "Yeah," Hadley said, hands on her knees, clearly out of breath.  Tears streamed down her face and she looked incredibly upset. I couldn't blame her; I hated watching any of us fight. Especially Whitney and Cora. They just couldn't understand each other, no matter how hard they tried.

            I took a deep breath, trying very hard to remain calm and collected, and I looked at Hadley in the eyes. "Do you know why they were arguing?"

            "Well, mostly because Whitney knocked you out, but also for him hurting Caroline and impregnating Whitney. Cora's really disappointed in her, and Whitney just blew a fuse."

            I started crying again, the tears silent, but clearly present. Nate grasped my hand, clutching it tightly. He was worried, too.

            "So you know what Graham did to Caroline then," I said slowly and sadly.

            "Not exactly, but I know it's not good. And I've already dealt with enough bad news to last me one day. Tell me another time," Hadley said, clearly exhausted. I was, too. Sorrow makes you pretty worn out.

            "Nate," I asked, "would you mind checking on Cora? I'll be there before she comes around, but I need to get food in the systems of Caroline and Hadley, along with trying to contact Aunt Kelly."

            "No," Hadley pleaded, eyes gleaming with misery, "please don't tell Aunt Kelly what happened. Aunt Kelly's a total jerk. I don't want her to take care of us. Cora can control us just fine. Who cares if Whitney leaves? She's-"

            "That's enough, Had. You love Whitney because she's your sister. You don't always have to get along, but it’s important that you at least try to cooperate with her and love her anyway. Okay? We don't talk trash about our sisters in this family."

            "Alright, Hollis. I'm sorry," she said, disappointed in herself.

            "It's okay, alright? Let's just get some McDonald's. I'll pick you up a salad, a vanilla milkshake and a Filet o Fish, okay Nate? Now where's Caroline," I said, scrambling to find her pink slip-on Vans and navy and pink hoodie with her initials-CFB-on it.

            "Here I am," she said softly, smiling big. I grinned at her; she was so cute.

            I slid the hoodie over her tossed hair and requested she put her shoes on, please, before we left. I gave Nate a quick kiss and told him to call me right away if she came around before I came home. He promised, kissed me again, and we were on our way. I plugged my white iPhone 4S into the port and put on me and Nate's playlist; full of songs we liked to sing together. Caroline was quietly humming to herself with Harry in her lap, along with something else that I couldn't quite make out. I didn't think much of it.

            "Hey, Hollis?" Hadley asked me, sliding off her UGGS onto the passenger seat floor of mom's old Mazda 6.

            "What?" I asked, trying to listen to Hadley, watch the road, and keep the corner of my eye on Caroline and Harry.

            "Do you ever wonder if people with normal families have these kinds of issues?"

            "Honestly, Had, I don't know."

            "Oh," she sighed quietly.

            I turned up the music and adjusted the mirror so that I could clearly see Caroline. She was smiling, making Harry the teddy bear do a dance in her lap. As we approached the McDonalds, Hadley shot me a quick glance. She didn't think we were a normal family. It kind of hurt me, but it wasn't shocking. The idea that we were a normal family had disintegrated from our minds many months ago.

            "What do you guys want to eat?" I asked. I ordered 3 10 piece chicken nugget meals, 4 medium fries, 2 vanilla milkshakes, an apple juice, a water bottle, a small Coke, a kids meal with a 6 piece chicken nuggets and small fries, apple dippers, and  some apple pies. I wanted to pay for all of it myself, but Cora's credit card was in my wallet, and mine wasn't, so I didn't really have a choice.

            We were trying not to eat in the car, but Caroline couldn't help herself. I was starving; I couldn't really blame her.

            I came home and we all devoured our food in a matter of minutes. Some girls feel uncomfortable stuffing their faces with food in front of their boyfriends. I was perfectly comfortable shoving food down my esophagus in front of Nate. And he was pretty grateful for that, apparently.

            I tapped Cora roughly with my foot and she slowly and fuzzily came around.

            "We got you some food and an ice pack," Hadley proudly announced. Cora smiled.

            "Thanks guys," she said slowly, "it's nice to know you care."

            We finished eating and asked Cora what happened before Whitney decked her.

 

            "Well, first I freaked out after she hurt you. I was like, flailing my arms and everything. Caroline over there seemed to think it was hysterical,” she said. Caroline giggled and nibbled on her food.

            "And then she sat down and started crying. I called Nate up and he moved you into your bed," she said. She continued, but I didn't hear her next sentence because I was lovingly staring at Nate. God, was he f*****g amazing.

            "So, basically, she went off with Graham and we have no idea where she is?" Hadley asked. Cora nodded.

            "Well, our options are totally limited, because we can't call the police. They'll wanna inspect the house and our room reeks of pot. I could blame it all on Whitney, but we'll all get drug tested and I'll be screwed," I added. Cora nodded, taking this into consideration.

            "You make an excellent point. Which is why I want you to stop, Hollis," Cora groaned.

            "I did. Nate made me," I told Cora honestly. She smiled at Nate.

            "Thank you, Nate," she said, smiling at me.

            "Not an issue," he said, grasping my hand from across the table.

            "So how are we gonna find her?" Hadley asked. I turned towards her when I saw a horrifying sight. I covered my mouth with my hands. In Caroline's hands was the switchblade Hadley had turned on Cora earlier. She saw it, too.

            Nate grabbed it out of her hands and threw it out the open window above the sink. I saw a few fireflies outside by our small koi pond; mom had always been into making a yard beautiful. I found it tedious, but mom seemed to enjoy it, so I just let it go.

            "Caroline," Cora said, "What did you do with that knife?" she was shaking, still in shock of what had just happened.

            "I put it in Harry's back," she said, sounding upset. She knew she had done something wrong.

            "I'll stitch it up later," Cora said, taking deep breaths to remain calm. "Caroline, those things are dangerous, okay? You can't use those."

            "Okay," Caroline said, teary eyed. I frowned slightly and opened my arms to give my baby sister a hug.

            "I'm sorry, everyone," she said, crying on my sweatshirt. I didn't even care. I just wanted to find Whitney…wherever she was.

~

            Turns out, just quite luckily, I had found a slip of paper under Whitney's pillow that I never would have noticed if it wasn't for Nate. I crawled into her bed, which apparently had a shitload of weapons down the side, and read the neatly folded note.

            Hollis,

            Sorry for my terrible handwriting-I'm in a position of stress as of now. I know what I did to you and Cora was wrong, but I had to make it look like you had passed out so Graham wouldn't rape you, too. I know what he did to Caroline. I tried so hard to stop him, so f*****g hard, but it was either her virginity or her life. I really love all of you, but I have to protect you by being a cold-hearted stoner. It's keeping you alive. I don't want to stay with Graham, believe me, but I don't really have a choice, okay? If I even tried to break up with him, I'd die. You would, too. I don't want to run away-I love you all more than anything in the world. But I need to protect you. I’m sorry, Holly. Tell all the girls I love them. And if you look in my drawer that's labeled "KEEP THE F**K OUT" there's a present for Caroline in there. Give it to her and say it's from Whitney. And tell her I'll never let Graham hurt her again. I hired my friend Jack to kill him tonight. Jack's assassinated over 23 criminals in need of death. He needs to go. I hate that b*****d. F**k him so bad. I love you guys so much. Tell Cora to keep everyone safe and I'll be back as soon as Graham stops breathing.

            Love always,

            Your sister Whitney

            I started crying the second I read the word "virginity." Whitney really did care. She felt the same way all of us felt about Graham. She was risking her body and happiness, and life, to keep us safe. I felt so horrible for misjudging her.

            But I was also very worried. Killing Graham? She couldn't say it was self defense. Unless she refused sex and he forced it. But at this point in time, I trust her more than I ever have.

            I crawled out of her bed, taking a last glance at some guns and switches, before going into her "Keep The F**k Out" drawer.

            What I saw was very, very shocking.

            In the best way possible.

 

 

Chapter Three: Whitney's P.O.V.

            Today was probably the worst day of my entire life.

            I couldn't stand Graham anymore. To the point where I had to hire my assassin friend to kill him. If he's going to rape my little sister, he isn't going to LIVE.

            His red Caravan smelled disgusting-like pot, old food, farts, and underwear that REALLY needs to be cleaned. How could I trust Graham? How could I have depended on him? Look at what he did to my family!

            "Hey babe," he said, groaning, "Go get me some more money from your purse."

            I wanted to cry. He had taken so much of my money. I felt like bawling my damn eyes out. But I just swallowed all emotions and handed him a $20. I had no idea what he'd use it for, but I prayed it was tacos and NOT condoms.

            It WAS tacos. I was thankful. Taco Bell noticed his stonerism and I just rolled my eyes and crouched under the glove box as best as I could, covering myself with a blanket and pretending I no longer existed.

            I felt so gross. I was forced to smoke. Hollis was, too. Holly didn't deserve that crap! She was so much better than that. I hated watching the man I used to love force my dear sister into lighting a piece of paper with drugs and leaves in it and smoking it. I hated it. It made me wanna run into the kitchen, take a butcher's knife and decapitate myself.

            But I didn't. I couldn't hurt my sisters that badly. Even though they'd probably prefer I pass away of suicide than Hollis or Cora or Hadley. Putting Caroline in there isn't even close to fair.

            I stared at the dark green of the blanket. It smelled horrible. I started to cry. I hated my life so much.

            "Get out of that dumb blanket, f****r," Graham said, taking a hit off of a pretty big joint. I just allowed myself to cry and pinned the blanket around me tighter.

            "No," I whispered. I knew what happened next. It made me swallow all pride and I typically ended up with a few more bruises. But what's only a few more?

            "You are my b***h," he said, gritting his teeth, "and you don't f*****g say no to me." He punched me in the face at full force. It burned and swelled, and I cried. It was so incredibly painful.

            "I’m not anymore," I said, getting up and attacking him while he's driving. That was Kurt's cue to get him. With a knife to the throat, he was dead almost instantly. I ran out of the truck as quickly as I could. I was so horrified.

            "Thank you so much," I told Kurt. He smiled at me and ran in the opposite direction. I needed to get home. I couldn't stand being away from my family; even if they did hate me.

            Well, it wasn't exactly the easiest situation for me once I got home. I slowly opened the door, only to find Hollis and Nate staring at me with hopeless eyes.

            "Whitney," Cora said, coming in from the living room, "We were so worried about you."

            I ran up and gave my older sister a hug, crying before I even reached her.

            "Where were you? Tell me everything," Hollis commanded, rubbing a flower petal in between her fingers.

            "I…I had someone…kill Graham."

            Hollis covered her mouth with her hand and by the way her eyes got huge, you could tell her mouth was wide open. Nate didn't say anything, just emotionlessly stared at the tile floor, and Cora didn't speak or move. Hadley slowly crept into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. She was wearing pajama pants and a tank top with The Wild Thornberries on it, obviously borrowed from Hollis.

            "Whitney?" she asked, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the light.

            "Yeah, it's me," I said quietly, my eyes like a magnet to the floor.

            "What happened…? I wanna know…I…I need to know," she said.

            "I can't tell you. Go back to bed, hun."

            She gave me a look, obviously upset. I felt guilty, but I didn't wanna scare her. That's precisely the very last thing I wanted. Everyone in my family already hated me. Now I had to deal with a murder case.

            How f*****g fun.

            I sat on my bed, remembrance of Graham hovering over me, waiting to fall on me like a ton of bricks. But it didn't. I just didn't really feel bad. I know I took away a person's life and everything, but after everything he'd done to me, plus Caroline, plus Holly and Cora and his poor brothers? He deserved it. He had what fate served to him.

            I felt like Sweeney Todd. And at this point, I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

            I grabbed my iPhone and put on Oasis. It reminded me of Graham quite a bit, but I didn't really give two f***s. I wanted to listen to what got me through tough situations, and that was Oasis and chocolate chip ice cream. That's just what I needed. I didn't even care who knew.

            My room still reeked with the scent of Graham's cheap cologne and pot. I hated the smell; it was vile and gross.