All I ask for.

Some midnight thoughts. I apologize for the grammar and I will appreciate any comment you have. I know it's far from poetry but these are some feelings I find worth writing about.

Look at her deeply with wide opened eyes and that tiny smile on your face. And make sure she sees you while doing so. Joke arround, touch her hair. Learn every feature and every expression of her face. Love her. Love her madly, truly, deeply and purely without any second guessing. I know you're capable of so.

And just when you're about to kiss her, your lips 3 or 4 millimeters away from hers, when you're feeling her soft warm breath reaching for your mouth and your heart skips a beat. At that tension moment while you close your eyes, think of me.

I'm not asking you to remember that much, just a passing-by thought, a flash.They say the most beautiful things fade away to fast, well if that's true you'll have to summarize it all in this flash because you don't have that much time, she's getting closer and when you two finally touch nothing else will matter, everything will become a blur in her touch, her skin...

But right now think of me. Think of why it didn't work out between us and the way we fell for each other and how you gave up on us. Think of how we will always feel something, even if it is the slidest memory of our brief love or the flaming fire which filled my body when we kissed, when we touched.

Remember the way it felt.

And now kiss her as the thought of me slowly fades away in her lips. Let it melt in the heat until it completely disappears as your hands run over every inch of he's small white body and she gently touches your hair maybe wondering what are you thinking.

And she must never know. Never know the sick selfish request i just made. The desperate scream of hope that maybe, just maybe you could return to loving me the way I love you. Even through I know it's not true nor will ever be.

You must not remember the sound of my tears at 2 in the morning the day it all ended, nor the day I decided to kiss you without a commitment of any kind, without something to hold on in case you'd let me fall again. Because suddenly I felt strong enough not to colapse all over you again and stand on my own two feet. I didn't realized how wrong I was until I was once again hoping for you to love someone that doesn't even know how to love herself.

And so I fell.

I wish that hope would just die. Because that way maybe I wouldn't be falling again and again without fully recovered from the last time.

And I won't blame you. God, I've blamed you so much in the past but not anymore; nor will I blame her. Because I truly understand what it is like to be wanting something at times but not fully loving it to the point of washing away every flaw. I completely understand the desire of not sacrificing your freedom over someone that's just not enough somehow.

I get it.

Now you must also get that I might be madly, truly, deeply and purely in love with you in every existent way, I am. That's the way i need you to love her...

But a thought is all i ask for.