when there's nothing left to keep you breathing

I've peeled my skin open for you

in places 

I still don't have a name for

but it wasn't enough

it's never enough

I don't understand 

how can you ask for more

from me

I turned inside out and felt my mind

shudder

for you

But it wasn't enough

They say it's my fault

Yes I know

Love means everything

But I need a bit of my own darkness

I can't function without it

I need my own lies

To keep me sane

You don't understand

what keeps me whole

You don't know

my secrets keep me breathing

Why would you ask for the death of me?

You already had everything else

I will let you

savage me

defeat me

beat me

rip me to shreds

but I won't let you kill me

I won't let you have the parts 

that I can't do without

Reviews

[Shawn M]

WHOA. Some GREAT stuff going on in this piece. Love it. I read "in places/I still don't have a name for" and my immidiate reaction was WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY THAT?! Marvelous. A suggestion; Take the last stanza, the finishing couplet, and put it right before the one that begins "I will let you." I think this will really help the ending, because when I read the "but I won't let you kill me" stanza I really thought that would be the end, and I think it has a much better OOMF too it than the current ending, and I think that it won't ruin the flow as "You already had everything else//I will let you/savage me" feels really good together for me. However, I don't think you should take the last stanza out, because it does feel like it belongs to this poem. Just perhaps somewhere else. :) I hope this is helpful, and as always you don't have to listen to me. :D Thanks for sharing! -Shawn

[thespaceinmybed]

thank you that is really helpful, and I see what you are saying about the last stanza, it might work better like you said. Glad to have your feedback!

[Moebia]

Love this. It's beautiful...

[thespaceinmybed]

thank you for reading!

[Raymond Federle]

Wonderful piece! When I read it I get a sense self affirmation but of also a betrayal of trust. Well done!

[thespaceinmybed]

Thank you for the compliment

[Angel of Chaos]

I have been there before.. I only wish I could have composed it as well as this

[thespaceinmybed]

Thanks for reading, and understanding

[Chaos_Collector]

Sounds like a pretty selfish individual if they want more after they already have nearly everything. This poem really digs deep into my soul. There are things that we can't even let some close to because if they were to destroy it, we would not be able to run normally day to day.

[thespaceinmybed]

yes, that's exactly how I feel! Thank you

[Chaos_Collector]

You're welcome :)