I�m Sorry, Dad

This is one of those moments that you wish you could take back, just rewind time and try and forget it ever happened. But it did, and I have to live with it.

 

 

I astonished myself by saying, “Why doesn’t he ever do anything?”  My mom just stood there in shock, too angry to even say anything.  If I had been older at the time I’m sure she would have hit me.  My father looked up at me from his wheel chair with sadness and anger in his eyes and a grim clench formed in his jaw.  He wiggled vainly in frustration; I knew he wanted to hit me, even though he couldn’t.  I just stood there in my cement shoes; a shaking ball of fear, grief, and anger welled up in my throat, choking out any more words.  Hot water ran down my cheeks into my mouth, mingling with snot, and free-falling off my chin to the hardwood floor.  I wanted to run, I also wanted to hug him and apologize a thousand times over.  It wouldn’t have made a difference; I had already blurted it out in my self-centered tantrum.  I understand that I was young at the time, and young people say and do stupid things; stupid, hurtful things.  I try and use this to consolidate myself, to relieve that little gap in my chest between the ribs and make that pain behind my eyes melt away, but it doesn’t help….  It still hurts to see the look on his face.  I didn’t notice at the time, but he was crying too.

Reviews

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I am really surprised that no one has commented on this. It is a wonderful description of what had to be a horrible moment for all involved. You descrided everything perfectly and made the reader feel as though they were there. As though at once, they were everyone in the room.

[Chris Zahar]

I had to read over this piece twice to understand what was going on in it, but the funny thing was, that even after the first time I read it, even after I didn't really understand what was going on, I felt the emotion run so deeply through it that a cold chill ran through my heart. This piece is almost like looking at a piece of abstract art. You don't really know what you're looking at, but you can feel the artists emotions running through it. I understand now, or at least I think I do, that you're talking about your a comment you made about your wheelchair stricken father, but, for some reason, my eyes passed over that the first time that I read it. This is a great piece and thank you for entering it in my contest.

[Marie]

This was an excellent and heartfelt piece of writing.

[SM Davis]

Wonderful feeling piece. I think I would have liked to know what caused you to blurt that which you perceive to have caused so much pain. If you were too young to be chastised for what you said...what was the catalyst? I think it would lend more to the piece. Of course, perhaps it may not be necessary.

We all say things in the heat of the moment. Especially the young ones. It's part of their eternal beauty. "Out of the mouths of babes".. and all that. I'm certain, beyond measure, he understands NOW.

Your mechanics...mainly punctuation needs a little work.

[Sarah Lee Jones]

Wonderful piece, very powerful and heart-wrenching... you have a wonderful description, I felt like I was there, experiencing this moment for myself... you did an amazing job, great work