to a girl's heart

hey you

yeah you

don't try to look me in the eye

 

hey you,

yeah you.

don't even notice that i try

 

so here i am,

a lonely soul,

moving through this world with just one goal

 

to be me,

to be free

to be anything i want to be

 

to be heard,

without words,

to be the best that's ever been

 

to be the one,

who tries so hard,

to capture, that one girl's heart.

 

hey you,

after school

you don't notice

i exist

 

hey you,

yeah you

you make me feel like such a special fool

 

hey you...

you make me...

 

you make me me,

you make me free,

you make me anything i want to be

 

you make me heard,

without words,

you make me the best that's ever been

 

but most of all,

most of all...

you're the one that tries so hard,

to capture my heart.

Author's Note

er... i know it's lengthy, but i had a tune going in my head when i wrote this, hope you don't mind.

Reviews

[The_Dreamer]

It is a nice piece. the rhyme is good, and the sentances are short and sweet, really good

[Charles]

A good poem with an absolute minimal number of word (for its length). This sort of thing is what poets should aim for... something different in form and something that would make great song lyrics. I do see an extraneous comma (line 3, stanza 6)... otherwise technically sound. Keep writing.

[zombiikillah666]

kinda reminds me of pink floyd...
but nice write...
i like it. (:

[a_mystery]

its leangth captures heart..!! lol..
loved it.. :)

[Ruth]

Beautiful write, length wise, I don't think that matters, a poem is as long as it needs to be lol
Great piece!
xx

[Undying Glory]

beautiful and sweet work. when did you write this? anyway it's really good man

[Stephanie990]

This is so beautiful