Egg

this is an attempt at poetry

a salty desert

cracks

the shell of an egg   

leaking yolk

under 

the sun’s atomic 

whisper

 

time in between

lightning

and the tumbling of

thunder

screaming

dark and light 

blinding

 not 

distinguished

not

defining 

 

the eternal

finite

waves breaking

 wash away

my

emptiness

 

i think

i loved you

was i right

or

was i

right

?

Reviews

[Linear]

Enjoyed the poem, great format always helps the reader.

[.]

. you're right ... fantastic stuff ... very creative and inspirational ...

[Crowley]

I'll take it....attempted with great success. I loved this. Taking everyday reality and making it suitably impressive...its what poetry is all about. Great work, I loved it.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

pretty unusual- but some of the best poetry is

[Nobody.]

great piece of writing. the images portrayed challenged my grip on reality, and, yet, felt extremely familiar to me. I felt it.
cheers1

[Dark Empress]

It's very different, I'll give you that. I like it.

[.]

Different, but I enjoyed it. Well written

[Kerry O'Connor]

I like the way you have taken an ordinary egg and extrapolated it into abstract art. Wonderful conclusion.

[Misty Blue Eyes]

you must have been looking at an egg lol its a wonderful poem

[My Fair Lady]

A very successful attempt if you ask me... and since you did, I'll be one to tell you. This is vivid, this is poetry.