WANNABEE

WANNABEE

A Poem by Crusaderscross

Sitting here awaiting life
A face lost behind the window

Half-cup of espresso is left
The smell of depression enters his body

Attention and recognition desperately needed
to fill the void of this offspring not wanted

Paper and pen in hand, tears begin to flow
Words written repel the originality of creation

Desire to please the collective conscious
Fear of being alone controls the weak-minded

He gets up from his chair,
papers left behind

No one is watching, therefore

HE IS NOTHING

© 2010 Crusaderscross


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Reviews

"Fear of being alone controls the weak-minded" How true that is!
And the line "Paper and pen in hand, tears begin to flow" really brought back some memories of how I wrote most of my pieces.
I really liked this, nice work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This poem is deep but well written, the feeling of not being wanted is depressing and you portrayed this well, nice write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


this is a truly deep piece of writing. It is hurtful when you think you are nothing. the format of this poem works for you quite well and I like the style.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Like going to the office like many others and just feel it's the same routine, and nobody really paying him any attention. Or so I think...I like your style of writing and poetry.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Your writing is somewhat chilling, but in a good way. I love this, awesome job.

Posted 8 Years Ago


If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it?

There is a girl watching him
Feeling the waves of his soul.

He leaves, and she reads
The papers he left behind....

Well done. This seems like the start of a short story, or the story of this guy's life. Well done. I really like what you've made with your words here. I like the subtly of the "Void of this offspring not wanted" and "Repel the originality of creation." such wonderful phrases.

Fantastic work 100/100

Posted 8 Years Ago


So deep!!! The thirst to be recognised!! Such passion in this write!!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Very interesting. Really gets the thought processes going. Without companionship, interaction what is there? An excellent write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


"Paper and pen in hand, tears begin to flow
Words written repel the originality of creation"
I love that line, has to be one of my favorite, but just had to mention it in the beginning of my review.
Wow, it sounds so hopeless, sad, and just depressing, beautiful. You made this character sound so alone, and so gloomy that I couldn't help, but to find this whole piece amazing! Excellent job, really! Loved it that much! :)
Favorite lines (beside the one I mentioned):
"Sitting here awaiting life
A face lost behind the window"

"Half- cup espresso is left
The smell of depression enters his body"
Love it, truly love it! Thank you for posting this up, don't ever stop writing! :D
Liz-z
:)

Posted 8 Years Ago



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9 Reviews
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Added on July 29, 2010
Last Updated on July 29, 2010

Author

Crusaderscross
Crusaderscross

Montreal, Canada



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