Reconsidering Love In The Rain

I asked so much of you when we were young

You- already clever, kind, and good

I begged the sweetness of your silver tongue

And love in words and ways I understood

I stand now in a barren parking lot

Beneath a dreary, dark November sky

Knowing less what love is than is not,

I wish you will stay safe, and warm, and dry

Author's Note

Far shorter than my usual freeverse, but I love it for that reason. As always, feedback is welcomed and encouraged. Plus, I'll make sure to check out your writing while I'm at it! Writers support writers.

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

Not sure if your meter was intentional. This poem had nice cadence. I love to try to figure out what the basic story is. In this poem I was thinking life had brought homelessness. Standing in a lot alone and lost by love and life.

[Alice Miller]

You know, I used to keep the meaning of this poem so close to my chest, but all of the readings of it have given me cause to let it go a little bit. I'm happy to disclose my author's intent, but at the same time, the shape it takes in people's minds is something better than I could've hoped to create.

[Hahabeoriginal?]

I love the rhyme and such an emotional poem!

[Aura]

This piece seems to be about learning to move on after love. It seems that this person was begging for the attention of another not quite understanding that this was not how love was suppsed to be. I enjoyed the simplicity of this!

[Mira Windsor]

I am amazed on how a short poem like this can have so much emotion and meaning behind it. Keep up the good work

[Miss Sharon]

(I begged the sweetness of your silver tongue And love in words and ways I understood) Be still my beating heart! ~Sharon

[JMaster1]

I love short poems , they are much better and powerful
Just like your words here

[John the Baptist]

I sense a feeling of regret beneath these words, that the addressee is for some reason no longer in the picture. Perhaps the speaker is looking back and wishing better understanding was possessed in the past. It is one of those "If only I knew then what I know now" situations. If learning was gained, though, all is not lost.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Alice,
I'm unclear about the action here and what I am supposed to feel - or what it is you felt. What has happened? Is this love lost, a death, or something else? I do like shorter poems, too. But what I've found is that the shorter the poem the more difficult to write. If you stop by my place, I urge you to read these two: The Black Death and Far-off Tripoli.

I mostly use this site for poems I've either already had published or for those I have decided against trying to have published. A lot is simply practice - like the metered poems.

[Alice Miller]

W.,
Love lost comes the closest, but it's still love- just changed. A little closer to the chest, a little quieter, a lot more inclined to give than to take. And both still alive :).

I also use the site for practice, or for works I wouldn't quite publish. I'll check out your works. Thank you for your time!

[W. Barrett Munn]

Alice, did you change this a bit? It reads better to me this time arounds, so maybe it was me the first time.

[Alice Miller]

I've not touched it.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Must have been me, then.