Your Smile

For everyone that give us a wonderful smile that give a joy to any person's heart

Your smile incites all our
Thoughts to be relaxed within your sight
Troubles to be melted in your path,
Senses to be mesmerized in your eyes
Issues to be solved upon your ways,
Feelings to be excited by your voice
Worries to be dissolved into your waves.

Your smile helps us to
Follow our passion of discovery
Seek our desire in priceless treasury,
Read our books in the library
Improve our skills in major literary
Expand our essay to a well-read story
Find our love poetry.

Your smile changes our
Loneliness to togetherness
Darkness to lightness,
Ruthlessness to forgiveness
Sadness to happiness,
Weaknesses to strengths
Illness to healthiness,
Weariness to willingness
Awkwardness to smoothness,

Selfishness to selflessness.

Your smile allows us to
Immediately take a while to rest
Efficiently do our very best,
Confidently stand on our two feet
Brightly achieve any tough feat
Bravely face our given fate,
Spontaneously increase our personal faith
Repeatedly seeing you with bated breath,
Patiently learn the longing of wait
Modestly have will power extremely great,

Definitely forget our last defeat
Truly have sensation we never felt
Completely succeed all our tests
Absolutely deserve all our gifts.

Abderrahmane Dakir

Reviews

[Jennie Baron]

I have to echo the opinions of the others. Some repetition is the glue that holds a poem together, but too much takes away from the emotion that writing like this calls for. I agree that the word choice is excellent.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much

[Malik Rosser]

I really liked you're poem and the layout you set it up in. Good stuff. 👍

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much

[Vishuddha]

Nicely worded but somewhat static. It needs to take us somewhere beyond just saying how great it is.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much

[Vishuddha]

I re-read this after your revision. Terrific!

[ShowtunesGiraffe]

This was great and empowering! The word choice was awesome and the repetition was a nice touch.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much

[Caladoscope]

Have to agree with DL Paget on this one. My heart always messes with my structure.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much

[Harpreet kaur bajwara]

good job .i liked it very much

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much

[Harpreet kaur bajwara]

ur welcome

[David Lewis Paget]

More of a list than a poem, Abderrahmane, and as such lacks that tenderness one would expect to find in such an outpouring to a loved one. More a cerebral piece than from the heart, and therein lies its weakness.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

I tried to update it.If you could take a look.Thanks for your advice.

[AkoNeko]

This is actually a good poem congrats man I enjoyed this

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much

[iand63]

good poem has a good sense of rhythm and builds gently. the flow is consistent, there are no extraneous words or meaningless phrasings. well done.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much

[Nerf]

I would like to meet the person with this smile, for I also would appreciate the inspiration to create words from such a gesture. As Rene Velez said, To efficiently do my best would be the correct way to edit that line. Beautiful words.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much