The Soul Owner

Mr. Jamal is a young man. His dream is to visit the most powerful person on this Earth. Whether with heart, money, health or resources. Mr. Jamal is a thoughtful and stubborn person. When he wants to

Introduction

Mr. Jamal is a young man. His dream is to visit the most powerful person on this Earth. Be that in matters of the heart, money, health or resources. Mr. Jamal is a thoughtful and stubborn person. When he wants to do something, he does it.

Chapter 1 : King of  hearts

 Jamal is engaged to a girl called Donia who is calm and romantic. Today, she took Jamal to a nice restaurant, inside there were a red candles on the tables, there was also a singer who sang romantic songs, the singer played soft music with just a lute. The light was a warm glow and wonderful. The waiters were very kind. Jamal and Donia had a good time together.

Jamal told Donia that he had decided to visit the king of hearts and he asked her, “Do you have any idea why I have decided to see this king?”


“Today, the king of hearts is the most famous soccer player …., the most famous actor…., the most famous singer….” said Donia.


“What I understand is that the most attractive man in the world is called the king of all girl’s hearts and the most attractive woman in the world is called the queen of all guy’s hearts. Though in thirty years, he will soon be forgotten because he will not keep his beauty forever.” said Jamal.

“In fact, when I fell in love with you, you became the owner of my heart, you are the king of my heart so I forgot the king of all hearts.” said Donia.

Jamal whispered to himself “If I’m a king of one heart, I don’t need to visit a king of all hearts. Now, my priority is to visit the king of money.

  

Chapter 2 : King of money

The king of money is the owner of the greatest bank. He lends money to people who want to accomplish their goals in a short time.

Jamal is different. He is patient, he likes accomplishing his goals step by step.

Instead of buying a new apartment downtown like his friends, he has rented just a small studio.

Jamal saves more than he spends, he doesn’t struggle to be the owner of anything because he realized that a person who wants to be an owner, lives a stressful life in order to give money back to the king of money, so they live as slaves on this Earth.

Jamal is independent, his purpose is to live in peace and to have a quiet life. He doesn’t need to work hard to manage his financial issues. He just pays studio rent, so he saves the rest of his income in his bank account.

Jamal remembers his father’s advice “Don’t buy things that you can’t afford. Spend just ten percent of what you have. Live modestly if you want live happily.”

Jamal whispered to himself “If I don’t need to borrow money from the bank, I don’t need to visit a king of money. Now, my priority is to visit the king of health”.

Chapter 3 : King of  health

The king of health is a man who builds the most famous hospitals. He has selected the best doctors in the world to perform the surgeries in them.

Today, all magazines write about the king of health’s accident on the highway since he speeded and crashed his car into other cars. His condition is very serious. He has a headache. His head hurts him so hard.

The doctors are not sure what the results of this difficult surgery on his head will be.

Later, the king of health opens his eyes, he doesn’t see anything, he orders them to turn on the light but he sees just black darkness. He has lost his sight, he is blind, he cries, the doctors cry too.

“I’m the king of health. I built this hospital in order to take care of ill people. Take all my money but bring back my sight.”

Jamal whispered to himself “the king of health is blind. The king of health is ill. Now, he would rather be a slave that sees than a blind king.

Now, my priority is to visit the king of the empire.”

 

 

 

Chapter 4 : King of the empire

Jamal went to visit the king of the empire. The emperor had all the resources of his empire, he was cheerful.

He spent all his time fighting other countries with the purpose of taking more land, then more resources which would become at his finger tips.

When he sees the wind blowing through the trees and over the lands he says to it. “Blow here or blow where ever you go, across this earth from east to west, in the end your power will belong to me and I will harvest it’s fruit.”


As usual he eats a lot of delicious food, this evening he is sick, his stomach hurts him. His doctors bring him medicines. He tries them in vain.

Jamal visited this king before he died. He was with doctors who were on the king’s deathbed.

The king of the land was so weak, he shouted “I’m the emperor, I spent all my life ruling my empire, I have unlimited gold, unlimited money. How can I leave all that? I ‘m the king of the biggest empire, I’m the owner of the world but I’m not the owner of my soul. Then, I’m the owner of nothing, take everything and leave me alive…”

Jamal whispered to himself “the king of the empire is dead.

Now, my priority is to visit the king of souls.”

 

 

Chapter 5 : King of  souls

 

Jamal decided to visit the king of souls. He didn’t find Him. He asked his teacher Mustapha about this king.

Mustapha said, “It’s easy to find this king, he is where you are. Have you ever wondered who instilled your soul? The same one, who instilled it in you, can take it whenever He wants.”

“I believe that the king of souls is the most powerful. Married or single, we can live without the king of hearts. Rich or poor, we can live without the king of money. Strong or weak, we can live without the king of health. Emperor or slave, we can live without the king of the empire but we can’t live without the king of souls.” said Jamal.

“The king of souls is the owner of all things that you have, he gives you everything, he also gives you a love which helps you live a lovable and merciful life with others.

He gives you strength when you feel weak. He gives you money when you are poor. Try to be close to the king of souls by protecting your soul from evil, so you will reap reward in this life and beyond.


Be careful, when He gives you something it’s like He’s lending it to you as part of a test. You never own your own soul so you can never be the owner of anything or anyone.


If He takes your soul, you will lose everything that you have, then everything belongs to the king of souls, the sky, the moon, the sun, the stars, the Earth, everything…….and souls, all belong to Him, so he is really the king of everything, hearts, money, health, the Earth, the universe, …..And our souls.“

 
He is the king of all kings. He alone is the Soul Owner.

©2015 Dakir Abderrahmane

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Very good wisdom in the story. I liked how you told the story and took the reader to the strong ending.
"If He takes your soul, you will lose everything that you have, then everything belongs to the king of souls, the sky, the moon, the sun, the stars, the Earth, everything…….and soul, all belong to Him, so he is really the king of everything, hearts, money, health, the Earth, the universe, …..And soul.“ He is the king of all kings. He alone is the sole owner.”
Many great writers had wrote similar thoughts. Can't take with you to death anything. What you leave behind is important. Teaching of love and kindness is never forgotten and is passed on by wise teachers. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much Coyote for reading. I enjoyed with it so much.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[psisatyr]

It's very preachy, and views the world with a an obsolete, decadent romanticism, a world tinged with honey and golden eyes where beautiful blondes chime and make music; the word SOUL has become a hackneyed phrase ...Yes I appreciate the bells of humanism in your story, especially in the epilogue...But life is more complex and we are caught up in the fangs of irony, the tragic living of life in a petite bourgeoisie culture.... I would have loved a writer if he has stepped out of the thresholds of romanticism and as a one who engages in the extreme of irony. Yes I know your kind of story appreciates flock of readers who swarm like bees to a hive. The ideal of romance in part one is prone to all kinds of existential fallibility We become fools or villains of an interactive inter subjective dilemma. I don't understand your conception of money in part two at all....The world is ruled by it, and in it stands Empires and Moguls. Money is a 666 conception and its craving never ceases. Unlike your narrator, I crave for money; with money I can help and meet my dear friends in a foreign country. The king of health is in an apocalypse of a coma right. How can he loose his sight alone? Yes, I too had an accident and I was in coma. I don't know or remember anything of that state. How can we confront immortality? Only by passionate living. The soul exists may be as a subjective consciousness not as a poetic ideal, an Eden as depicted by you. Forgive me I am not an idealist but a passionate, realist aesthete.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much for reading.

[psisatyr]

It's very preachy, and views the world with a an obsolete, decadent realism; the word SOUL has become a hackneyed phrase ...Yes I appreciate the bells of humanism in your story, especially in the epilogue...But life is more complex and we are caught up in the fangs of irony, the tragic living of life in petite bourgeoisie culture .... I would have loved a writer if he has stepped out of the thresholds of romanticism and a one who engages in the extreme of irony. Yes I know your kind of story appreciates flock of readers who swarm like bees to a hive. The ideal of romance in one is prone to all kinds of existential fallibility. I don't understand your conception of money....The world is ruled by it an in it stands empires and moguls. Money is a 666 conception and its craving never ceases. Unlike your narrator, I crave for money, money I can help and meet my dear friends in a foreign country. The king of health is in an apocalypse of a coma right. How can he loose his sight alone? Yes, I too had an accident and I was in coma. I don't know or remember anything of that state. How can we confront immortality? Only by passionate living. The soul exists may be as a subjective consciousness not as a poetic ideal, an Eden as depicted by you. Forgive me I am not an idealist but a passionate, realist aesthete.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much for reading.

[Annacate]

"You never own your own soul so you can never be the owner of anything or anyone." I like that line. This is a wonderful story full of insight. It reads like a parable. It's lovely and the only thing I would do is fix the grammar and punctuation.

Thanks for sharing it with us,
Annacate

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much for reading.

[Thatoetsile Simons Thup..]

The story is great and inspiring. The wisdom you have could help many people in need but there are uneccesary mistakes like"Do you have I decided to see any idea about this king?I dont mean to be harsh but it makes no sense.

And lastly there are uneccesary words like "to" and "in" in this inspiring story.

I would advice you to read your story again and highlight some errors.

otherwise keep doing good job.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much for reading.

[Devons]

A universal, mature moral wisdom told as a lesson in a children's book; black and white in function, yet intelligently virtuous in intent. It works very effectively in this sense.
NB. The grammar is imperfect on more than one occasion - be very careful of that. English, perhaps, is not your first language.

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much for reading.

[PJ Acker]

Your story reads like a parable; I enjoyed it. There is definitely a moral to this little story, more than one, in fact.

In the way of advice (I assume you are asking), some simple things could be suggested like minor points of grammar and double-check for things like making sure each beginning paren has an ending to complete it. One thing, in the 2nd paragraph of the 1st Chapter, you write, “Do you have I decided to see any idea about this king?” I don't understand this question. Possibly, you might want to revisit the wording here, in order to express your intent more clearly. These are subjective, please take what seems right and disregard what doesn't.

Overall, I felt the story flowed very nicely and the wisdom being laid out was very sound and logical, leading from one conclusion to the next.

Very good, Dakir, please do - write on!

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much for reading.

[DoormanDan]

This story has a very strong morale behind it, and I can tell that you put a lot of effort and thought into it. Overall, I did enjoy the story, but I do have a few suggestions to make.

First of all, try to avoid sentence fragments. This problem isn't very prevalent in this story, but the second sentence, "Whether with heart, money, health or resources." is a noticeable sentence fragment. Also, I would suggest adding a little more detail to the story(unless this is how it's suppose to be written, in which case, disregard this suggestion). I did enjoy the story, but couldn't really get INSIDE the story as much as I would've liked to.
Here are the next few. In the first chapter, I think you might have made a mistake(perhaps while editing). The sentence, "“Do you have I decided to see any idea about this king?” isn't very clear, and does need to be rewritten. The next thing I noticed while reading the story were a few tense changes. With story writing, unless you transition to a flashback or to a prediction of the future, you should stick to just one tense. This problem arises in the very first sentence,"Jamal is engaged to a girl called Donia who is calm and romantic. Today, she took Jamal to a nice restaurant, inside there were a red candles on the tables, there was also a singer who sang romantic songs, the singer played soft music with just a lute.". You changed from preset tense to past tense(this might have just been an accident, as it is a somewhat easy mistake to make." For this story, I think that past tense would work best, but that's your call.

Other than those few things, this story is written very well. I really did enjoy it, and the moral you presented in it is original and powerful. Are you new to Writerscafe? I ask because when I clicked on your profile, it said "I'm new". If so, welcome to the site! Anyway, good job, and keep up the great work! :)

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much for reading.

[KingJoseph]

I love how the story starts as whimsical and light hearted only to find a a deep and eye catching ending. Although there are many kings, only few will last for everyone is afflicted with something that will lead to their downfall. I love how you mentioned this King of Souls and it really does make sense to call him a king. Wonderful story, from a light hearted touch to a reflective ending! Thank you so much for sharing this!

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much for reading.

[SheIsMe]

So many good pieces of advise in this story. The last line is powerfully inspiring. Great job!

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much for reading.

[Kimberly Miller]

I love how this story has a lesson hidden amongst other things. There are many hints and helps we can take from this story. I also enjoy a good story with a hidden meaning!

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

Thank you so much for reading.