If I Disappeared

I was just in the mood to write some dark/sad poetry when I wrote this: no need to worry, I don't really feel like this!

If I Disappeared

Can you look me straight in the iris of my eye

And tell me you would actually care if I died?

If I orchestrated the symphony of suicide

At my funeral would you even start to cry?

Would you even care at all?

If Death removed his black veil before me

If I were caught in Bloody Mary's gaze

Would you honestly say that you miss me

And let the sadness inside of you resonate?

If my time called, what would you do?

Tell me

If I were to one day disappear

Would you say it's not the same without me near?

Or would you just cry crocodile tears

And forget me by the birth of a brand new year?

Would you even notice if I disappeared?

Though you smile at me, in the chambers of my mind I feel

That secretly you wouldn't care if one day I don't get home

Maybe it's just my thoughts saying I don't deserve your love

I'm not sure at all, that's why I need to know

Would you even care if I disappeared

Would you even care if I disa

Author's Note

Sorry if this isn't as good as what I normally write. I've been in a bit of a rut as far as having inspiration lately.

Reviews

[MsJewel]

You say you are in a rut, but I think this is very good. I can feel the emotion in your words, which touched my heart. When our writing allows the reader to feel something, I believe we have done a great job.

:) Julie

[DoormanDan]

Thank you for both the kind words and for taking the time to review my writing! I appreciate the feedback :)

[Katie]

I love this poe! Your poems are amazing I love reading them !
Great job!:)

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for all of the positive feedback! I seriously appreciate all of your reviews! :)

[Lizardo]

I usutally tend to think about this the whole time: ''What would happen if I dissapear?'
Would anyone care?
Another good write Dan, Great work on this one :)

[DoormanDan]

I think we all probably ask ourselves that question at some point in our lives. The best thing to do when that happens is think about all of the friends and beloved family members we have. Thanks for reviewing. :)

[Lizardo]

You are Darn right :)

[DoormanDan]

if you take out the r you've got Dan. I am Dan right lol :)

[Lizardo]

jajajaja LOL

[Cool Girl]

Hahahaha xD
You guys are sooooo funny LOL

[ConfuzzledKidd]

This is a fantastic poem! You captured it well and you've a great way with words

[DoormanDan]

Thanks for the review. You are too kind :). I read some of your writing; you are a good writer yourself!

[misha]

What a sad yet beautiful write. Great job

[Tasfia Islam]

wow....this is too good......one of the best poem i ever read.....thanks a lot for sharing :)

[Matching Socks]

Hey, congrats on your first place win!
Great poem, glad to read your descriptor line... that you're not really feeling this bad. :)

[DoormanDan]

Thank you! im actually suprised this won because there were MANY great pieces of writing in that contest!

[1Disawsum]

great poem! Emotionally charged, everybody goes through the phase of being in the dark, by the depths of your mind. The flow of words is great, a tinge of a sad atmosphere is what I personally felt. A random question: Are you Protestant in religion? xxx keep up the great poetry writing, DoormanDan! :)

[DoormanDan]

thanks for the review! yes i am protestant in religion

[1Disawsum]

no problem! Good, because a lot of people use Bloody Mary in their poems or writing etc., but they don't really know HOW Bloody Mary came to be known as that, instead of just Queen Mary... I'm not Protestant, but I've learnt about her haha

[DoormanDan]

i always make sure i do my research before incorporating things into my writing( i read the dictionary WAY more than i should, looking for nice words to use lol)

[1Disawsum]

haha that's good, you're learning by yourself! Your English should be great! :)

[Fran Marie]

In depth emotions spring forth in this piece...deeply Expressed and well penned!!

[DoormanDan]

thanks, i believe that emotions should be at the roots of every poem

[Fran Marie]

I agree..you're welcome;

[Hutch]

hey.. thats a great poem. Emotion is what its all about. beautiful work!

[DoormanDan]

Thank you for taking the time to review my writing!

[Hutch]

anytime DoormanDan, great work