Advice to You from Me

and these lights are so bright, so strong and so bright
they're gnawing at my heart as the night simply ignites
and the holes burning deeper and deeper through me
the affliction is sharp to an untolerable degree
what is love to those who cant feel
enemy eyes casting shadows conceal
i want to break out of these rusted chains
but im afraid of whether or not this blood will still pump through my veins
its hard to step out of routines and into something new
it hurts to take someone's heart and slowly slice through
i have this thing in my chest they call a heart
it keeps beating and beating this beat into an abstract art
We love to love but we hate to hurt, hate to feel
but to feel is love and love is what makes us real
i dont speak these words to give you advice
in this twisted world these words are my only suffice

Reviews

[Tim]

I thought this was pretty good but could use some work. Forced rhymes, and redundancy seem to stand out to me. Also the most obvious, Advise to you from me/i dont speak these words to give you advice? Still a good poem.

[serpent]

advise taken and appreciated....cleverly woven pieces of heart...
made a nice read!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Love the advice how you wrote about it so brilliantly!

[Charles D. Moorer]

Stanzas is the key to readability. Your message is intense and clear, but your formatting needs work.

[Im His Daughter]

Wow sounds like a rap song..
We love to love
but we hate to hurt,
hate to feel
but to feel is love
and love is what makes us real
i dont speak these words
to give you advice
in this twisted world
these words
are my only suffice

great job on this.. love it