SWEPT BY THE TIDEA Chapter by Danny Erin 15 DARK POEMS SWEPT BY THE TIDE
DANNY ERIN
15 POEMS
SWEPT BY THE TIDE
It’s usually on an endless wet Sunday when it gores into me like a bull that she’s gone forever, no more together and I will never feel so unbelievably good again.
Learning how to settle for this half-life and most of it merely a sham because it’s not with her. Swept by the tide to this point and turning to look back on the best days.
It’s usually on an endless wet Sunday when it gores into me like a bull that she’s gone, opens me up and I’m left flattened and bleeding, nothing I can do except lie here and wait for the wound to heal again.
AMBUSHED AGAIN
Just when you thought it was all going wonderful hey, you were actually walking around with a smile on your face without warning you’re tripped and fall into darkness
smile replaced by scream, nightmare replaces dream and you realise God has ambushed you once again.
MY LONELY BED AWAITS
I woke to no company except lonely rain, passed a lonely mornin watchin it fall, spent a lonely afternoon walkin along lonely rugged coast, made my lonely dinner on my return to my lonely house, drank my lonely drinks starin into my lonely log fire, took my lonely drugs and now my lonely bed awaits.
SOUL DEBT
Bleak dismal days when you finally realise that your beautiful words have been blocked to the main audience, no big time for you dude, no soaring like an eagle in unbelievable blue, instead condemned to the endless struggle through mire.
Bleak dismal days when you finally realise that this grim life is mainly about soul debt repayment, punishment will be inflicted by the Creator, old scores settled by Him, even though you’re never told what you did in a previous life that was so terribly wrong.
DEEP WATER
Most of the time these days in my shabby life it feels as if I’m trapped in deep water, beneath is a terrifying depth of cold killing blackness. I struggle to stay afloat, Christ I don’t want to go down there to the blackness. Just when the last of my strength is going and I’m starting to sink, a lifebelt floats by. I grab it and hang on, panting and exhausted but at least I’m not going down there to the blackness. I hang my head and get my breath back, rest a minute, so relieved I’m not going down there to the blackness. Encouraged I raise my head and look round and in the distance I see a shark fin heading towards me.
WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE TREE?
What’s your favourite tree!? Is it: the majestic Scottish Pine? the leafy Weeping Willow? the wondrous Silver Birch? or the children’s favourite, the magical Horse Chestnut?
Mine is the mighty English Oak! Enduring through history from small acorn seeds.
There’s a magnificent Oak in a nearby forest and the Park Ranger told me it was 200 years old.
I’ve walked to it many times to admire its grandeur.
Like today when I’ve climbed halfway up it and stood on this sturdy branch.
One end of the short rope is tied securely round the branch, the other end of the rope is tied securely round my neck and now I step off.
ONE BIG MISTAKE
I only ever made one big mistake in my entire life �" breathing in for the very first time.
After that it was all downhill. SAFE IN THE MASTER’S HANDS
No man no child no woman no creature is safe in the Master’s hands.
Not life nor love nor joy nor dreams are safe in the Master’s hands.
Only death and hate and bleakness and despair only these are safe in the Master’s hands.
ENDURANCE TESTS
When you reach perceptive years, you realise that life is just a series of endurance tests that’s all. Some you’ll pass and come out stronger, some you’ll fail and they’ll break you and you’ll limp on, changed forever. But remember this, no matter how many endurance tests you fail and how many endurance tests you pass, you’re guaranteed to fail the last one and you’ll never know when it starts.
A WASTE OF BREATH
“The years to come seemed waste of breath, A waste the years behind.”
Life is just a waste of breath, a pointless pile of crap. God’s revenge, that is, karma, is everything - it’ll humiliate you it’ll torture you it’ll break you it’ll have you living in fear in pain in misery because it rules you. Think you have a free will? Don’t be a f*****g moron. You’re allowed to achieve only what karma permits you to achieve. And it permits very few of us to achieve anything. Look at your life, you who are reading this. If you died today you’d be forgotten totally by the world in a couple of months, apart from your family. And what have you been permitted to achieve? Very little probably, just like most of us. Sure there are a few who are allowed success but only a few. For the rest of us it’s endless days of pointless crap till He, not you, decides that your f*****g wonderful life is over. Fingers crossed that it’s soon. As Kurt said, “The finest day I ever had was when tomorrow never came.”
MISERY
People were created for one main purpose �" to have misery inflicted on them. If God had wanted people to be happy he would never have subjected them to this form of life in the first place.
THREE WORDS
You could sum up life in three words - a f*****g nightmare. If yours hasn’t arrived yet don’t fool yourself don’t get smug it will. Take it from me it will arrive when you’re least expecting it. Just when you think everything’s going oh so wonderful, so wonderful that you could scream with joy, your nightmare will arrive and then it’ll be screams of pain. There’s one thing you can be sure of in this life - sooner or later your f*****g nightmare will arrive.
OVER THE EDGE
I am over the edge of this life, clinging on grimly with bruised and bleeding fingertips.
Far beneath me in seething blackness, screams muffled groans agony.
I know if I slide down there, I don’t come back up. Ever.
I am deeply afraid.
Footsteps approach above me and halt. Then dark laughter. I glance up and see a heavy boot coming down slowly towards my aching fingertips.
WOKE UP SCREAMING
Woke up screaming from night terrors
poured a drink lit a smoke with shaking hands
sat there smoking and drinking then started remembering just how bad things were for me when awake
started screaming again from day terrors.
You who were always so afraid of drowning now walk into the sea
first steps in and small waves break against your legs
you wade out further and the swell breaks around your thighs
you don’t turn to look back because you’re leaving nothing behind
deeper now out where the slate grey sea meets the slate grey sky but no fear as small waves break around your face
then under with eyes open
your first deep breath in stings but there is no panic more deep breaths follow but there is no fear
a final breath then it’s over so very quick
no more pain no more emptiness no more sorrow
you who were born from the sea have now returned to it.
© 2017 Danny Erin |
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