A Chapter by BVBYGXRL

"the first" - Introduction

So, this is it.
This is finally, impossibly it.
It was a red hot searing pain that was shoved and smashed throughout my insides and broke my heart into a million facets that could never be put back together. It got worse as they ripped your hand from mine and tore you away from the very fabric of my being. It hurt me much more than I could ever possibly imagine in my darkest days, but that was not what I could concentrate on. You were stolen from my grasp and while one moment you were at one with me, the next you slipped right through my fingers and oh my f*****g god, oh no, oh my f*****g god! were gone. I knew you were gone.
I choke on the thought.
The equator falls and the world lurches under my feet and suddenly there is no gravity. There is no oxygen. There is no heartbeat. 
I had known this was possibly the outcome to our story but i had never believed the universe would crush us so.
I remember when before it was just getting dark and it was cold and it was frightening and you were shaking. Your voice had cracked in every place possible and all i could think about was pulling out the weeds in between your words and making you whole and safe again. You had whispered to me and told me that you were scared to die. I didn't know what to say. I never knew what to say, but that was the moment when I saw the stars fall from your irises and your face crumple down like a mountain and I noticed that you started to sink into yourself.
And now, in this infinite space of time the amount of things I wish I would have said stretch on like the vast universe.
I should have comforted you like you have always comforted me, but I was scared, truly, of loosing you this time, and even though I have lost you a million times before, this time it broke me in a new chamber of my heart.
Later, they would torture me until I forgot who i was and what i stood for and my name but I could still never forget the song in your voice and the way your body moved even when you were standing still.
You are forever embedded in me.


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Added on November 18, 2014
Last Updated on November 18, 2014
Tags: forbidden love, loss, seperation, divine love, new age, reincarnation, cycles, immortality, death, sadness, desperation, consequences, patterns



Saint Louis, IL

Marissa. 19. STL. call me PYT. Call me yungpicasso. Aspiring Anthropologist, archaeologist, journalist, author, etc. Dreamer. Philosopher. Explorer. History buff. Artist. Conspiracist. more..