Stories (Part 1)

They're all just fighters, dragging their weight.

They're all just looking for a clean slate.

They're all just wishing they could find peace.

And everyone is looking for a release.

They're all just people with different stories.

They're all just people wishing for glories.

They're all just like us, you and me.

They're all just broken people, you see...

Loneliness and pain. She wanders

through the train and squanders

all her hopes and dreams

based on internet memes.

Traveling to Paris,

feeling so embarrassed,

there's no Eiffel Tower for her.

Nothing but a moment of spur,

the spur of a moment long gone by.

She sits at night and just cries goodbyes

to all the boyfriends who left her alone now.

Slitting her wrists with a razor, and wow

that's a lot of blood gushing out

with no benefit to stop her crying bout.
The more blood she loses, the more the sadness grows.

The more blood that flows, the more that it shows

her sadness is not just a skin-deep spell.

It's a ladder she's climbing down to her own hell.

They're all just fighters, dragging their weight.

They're all just looking for a clean slate.

They're all just wishing they could find peace.

And everyone is looking for a release.

They're all just people with different stories.

They're all just people wishing for glories.

They're all just like us, you and me.

They're all just broken people, you see...

He feels very similarly to the others.

Loneliness, pain, and lacking a real mother.

He has had many, you see, with his father,

but to be honest, his father would never bother

giving him a home or a real life centered

on what he wants. Instead, his home is splintered

every other weekend when in drunken rage

his father spews violent words and will often stage

him in such a position that he cannot fight.

But then, his new "mother" by the end of the night

will have left, again, just like the first.

Every time a woman walks in, it only gets worse.

His father thirsts for violence and sex, that's all he desires.

He would rather live recklessly and cause pain like the fires

than be a real man, grow up, and start a home.

A family is something he always had until he was shown

exactly how to live, because, you see, his old man started

the chain he is on now and which he hasn't departed.

Now a little boy suffers, watching the same old sequence.

His "momma" leaves because his dad got tired of the cleavage.

What on earth can he do now, with the world crashing down?

He has permanently marked on his face a sad frown.

They're all just fighters, dragging their weight.

They're all just looking for a clean slate.

They're all just wishing they could find peace.

And everyone is looking for a release.

They're all just people with different stories.

They're all just people wishing for glories.

They're all just like us, you and me.

They're all just broken people, you see...

Author's Note

Stories of suffering. Those who have been through things like these knows what I'm talking about, and those of us who have not, myself included, could never understand.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong and powerful words. I like the flow of thoughts leading to the strong ending.
"They're all just like us, you and me.
They're all just broken people, you see..."
I liked the logic and the thoughts in the words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Not here]

you should change your name to excellent poetry instead of coyote poetry, cause thats all you write :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Your words are very good. I don't give negative comments except in private message. I like your work and the feel of real life and truth. You are one of my favorite people to read. I do stay positive and if I can help. It be a private note. I receive praise and I don't seek praise. Best honor my friend is to be read. I tell people when you read a Dryden, Donne or a Ben Jonson. You bring them to life.

[Not here]

thanks :) and it certainly has made you good writer, all of that reading

[Coyote Poetry]

I try my best.

[Elisa]

There's this pervading sense of anger and helplessness throughout the poem that's particularly powerful for me. Again, this sense of empathy that you have for people who are suffering is so admirable. We need more people with that amount of compassion.

[Not here]

i think lots of people have it and just dont know how to show it :)

[JayceeC]

David, This one is particularly good. I like the couplet style rhyme scheme which still gives the strong rhyme that is part of your writing without being overpowering. Your two verses are longer but still have the couplet rhyme but can be read in a bit more of a free form while the refrain is a tighter style with beginning repetition and same rhyme scheme. It breaks it up a bit but still delivers a punch.
Your topic of pain and anguish and the harsh lives that kids lead it definitely timely, and paints vivid pictures. Overall this is really well done.

[Not here]

thank you alot :) i really appreciate it

[Emily]

Vary well written!
Well done!
Keep it up!

[Not here]

no problemo :) haha

[Saddam]

Loneliness and pain. She wanders
through the train and squanders
all her hopes and dreams
based on internet memes.

It is always something new with you but same is writing ability and rhyming scenes. Great to read you dear friend. The whole journey is like part of me, as you have put it. Great...........

[Not here]

thank you :) im glad you enjoyed it

[Riley Justine]

This is an amazing piece. You really capture the way I, personally, feel about myself. And I'm sure many others agree.

[Not here]

thats good :) i wanted everyone to see that no matter the problems we are all the very similar

[Ilerah]

Well, its well written, and overall good. I don't know how to explain it, but I enjoyed reading it. So, its good. Well done David.

[Not here]

thank you :) i appreciate it

[dan]

I can't deal wit the length of the poem. Don't give up on my plz...dan

[Not here]

i wont dont worry about it dan. just whenver you get the chance. ill just send you the requests and if you cant read it, dont feel like you have to review either. take care man!

[AaronFreitas]

"She sits at night and just cries goodbyes
to all the boyfriends who left her alone now.
Slitting her wrists with a razor, and wow
that's a lot of blood gushing out
with no benefit to stop her crying bout."

A beautiful write Dante... stories of suffering suck to read only because I think it's natural to not want to hear of others suffering but there is so much honesty. Reality is this s**t goes on all the time and it's part of everyday life... you did a great job of capturing that in this piece... truly an awesome read my friend :)

[Not here]

thank you :) and i just want people to understand that there are always people suffering who you could help or at least not hurt

[AaronFreitas]

Always my friend... secret cutters... secret pill poppers... doesn't matter what the secret is society is flooded with people that suffer

[Not here]

i definitely agree

[Peach]

I can really feel the suffering. You were really able to capture all those emotions and express them beautifully in ink or virtually in my laptop screen. Thanks for this piece.

[Not here]

no problem :) and if i wrote it out in hand, my handwriting is so bad it probably wouldnt be legible