Remember

Mother turned to me and asked,

"Son, when all of my life has past,

and I am approaching death fast,

will you remember me?"

I assured her that I will

always remember her still

while she grew secretly ill

at only forty-three.

"Son, when I have a long time aged,

and am in old age ever caged

and after you are still engaged,

will you remember me?"

I would remember her, indeed.

I told her, hoping she'd agreed.

Her life moved on with ruthless speed,

at only fifty-three.

"Son when I have grown much too old

and all of my blood does run cold,

will you be here, my hand to hold,

as you remember me?"

Standing by her bed, I'd flown

in from the West Coast. I'd known

that this could be her final throne

at only sixty-three.

I looked upon my mother's bed,

and patted gently her sick head.

With one last prayer, I finally said

what I hoped she would see.

"No matter where life takes me to,

and no matter what I must do,

this will not be the last for you

at only sixty-three."

After those rash words I felt

as if the final blow'd been dealt.

I felt her figure slowly melt

into the all of me.

After that, she slept just right,

alone and trying just to fight.

She wished she had my hand that night.

She died at sixty-three.

"Mother, whatever I do

and all the people I'm shown to

can not replace the love I knew.

I will remember you."

I knelt there on that soaking ground;

my fist against my head did pound.

Only the headstones all around.

"I will remember you."

Author's Note

Thanks for reading :) Comments below are very much welcomed

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A honest and powerful write. I was lucky. I came back from the war and spend three weeks with father in Virginia. I went back to Fort Hood, Texas. He died two weeks later. Life is to be celebrated. Mother and father are the best and worst part of us. I believe we learn my friend with age and death. Spend time with your family. They are the best days. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry. You left the reader with something to think about.
Coyote

[Not here]

thank you coyote :) and im glad it did that

[Coyote Poetry]

You did and you are welcome.

[kanyinsola okafor]

I felt an overflow of emotions as I progressed along your lines, a feeling so real for a moment I felt like her son. I was able to see and feel the emotions through your words, ...like I was inside your mind. What a wonderful piece! !

[Not here]

thank you very much :)

[Suvada]

this was beautiful good job !:)

[Not here]

thank you suvada :)

[Suvada]

Your welcome !:)

[KittyKatgirl]

Great job :) It is so sad I almost cried reading this. It's so nice that he promised her he will always remember her. I love the use of words it sends emotions through the readers.

[Not here]

thank you very much :) glad you enjoyed

[Tamika Finley]

Loved it! Reading it would bring the image to my head of a mother in a bed holding her son's hand. This is a great piece.

[Not here]

thank you for your review :)

[Tamika Finley]

no problem

[Stan Lee]

Very very well done.
You've done an amazing job with both rhythm and rhyming. And an excellent storyline to boot.
Thanks for sharing - You have an amazing talent. :)

[Not here]

thank you very much smiley face :)

[Stan Lee]

Most welcome :)

[Emily]

I really like this one!!
Keep it up!!

[JayceeC]

I went through much of this with my mother who died last year. So just because it is written mother to son, doesn't mean women will not easily relate. As a matter of fact, I related to both the son, and the mother, having teensge boys myself. I understand where the question are coming from, and they would be different to my daughters.
It waS very touching and conveyed the hopelessness and sadness quite well. Even in rhyme, which limits word choice, you are able to give us emotion through tone and descriptive scenes.

I threw this into syllable counter after reading Dale's comment. For nom-metered work it flowed fine some of the stutter steps is a change in feet from anapest to iambic, but that happens in our everyday speech patterns. The change ups actually help keep this real.A bouncy cadence is the last thing you need. Most of your lines are seven to nine syllables with most last lines being six.Did you coumt?
I thought about counting your earlier.write which I reviewed today but did not. It mihht be fun to look at. Line three of stanza seven stands.out as a bit long for the stanza, consider it. The rest looked good, and I enjoyed. It quite a bit.
Heres the cpunter if you want to look. Just paste it in and hit the count button.
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poetry_resources/syllable_counter.aspx

[Not here]

thank you very much JayceeC :) and thanks for your review

[Confuser]

Dante: I enjoyed the poem. I suppose all Mother's wish their son's to love them so that touched my heart. The flow was a little off, but that's okay, I got a little confused about secretly sick at age 43: I was thinking, she was sick for 20 years. But the poem is good Dante; I don't wish to discourage you in any way at all. You have a unique way of writing and I always enjoy your work. Can you please take a look at this line: She wished she had my that hand night? Thank you so much. Dale

[Not here]

oh woops i did that wrong. i meant "she wished she had my hand that night."

[Confuser]

No problem: you cannot imagine the woops I make...tks.:d

[Not here]

lol :) its all good

[Confuser]

You got that right!..........................................d