January 28, 2013

Maurice is about to begin his primary school journey.

Dear Diary,

My name is Maurice Papandrea and I am currently in Year 6 at St Constantine’s College in Kirribilli. I was born on the 10th of April, 2002. I am 10 years old. My mum is Monica, whilst my dad is Marco. I am an only child. I have a dog named Buttercup. She is a Labrador. I love Buttercup.

I have two cousins named Giuliano and Paris, and they are pretty cool. Giuliano is 18 and Paris is 16. I’m like a little brother to them. They are the sons of my aunt Filomena and my uncle Giuseppe. Filomena died when I was 2 because of lung cancer.

I live at 2 Mandolin Court, Wahroonga, NSW. Wahroonga is a suburb in Sydney, Australia. My house, aka Mandolin Estate is literally so big! It’s a three storey house and is basically a mansion! I don’t think I’m that rich but everyone says I am!

Dad is a barrister for an expensive law firm. He’s always at work most of the time, so I never really see him that much. He’s a defense lawyer, so he works with criminals and tries to stop them from going to jail. He has a pretty cool job, I guess. He always tells me and Mum stories of his work!

Mum is a hairdresser and has her own salon at Westfield Hornsby. She won award for being Hairdresser of the Year in 2012. She always cuts my hair, and she does it so good as well! I’d like to work with her one day.

I don’t really see my nonni that much. Mum’s parents both died in a car crash when she was little, and she was raised by her older sister Filomena. Dad’s parents are dead as well.

My dog Buttercup is the absolute best! She’s so cool! I love her to bits! She’s getting old though! She’s nearly the same age as my cousins! She has arthritis. She can’t walk anymore and it hurts her to stand. I will be sad when she dies.

Mum got me this diary to help me navigate through puberty. What even is puberty? I have no idea. Apparently I’m becoming a man soon… But like, I’m not even a teenager yet! I’m 10! I don’t need to worry about becoming a man for like three years. I don’t know.

I’ll tell you a little bit about myself, Diary. It might be a while, so grab your popcorn!

As you know, I was born on the 10th of April, 2002. My parents are Marco and Monica. I live in Wahroonga.

This is my first year of actual schooling. You see, I was an actor. I was in thousands of movies when I was little. Thousands is a bit of an exaggeration. I’ll list you every movie I’ve been in below.

• Rear-Ended (2005)

• Little Dede’s Adventure! (2006)

• Divorce Court (2007)

• Pasta with Beef Ragu (2008)

• Howdy Howdy Howdy! (2009)

• Mama Bear and Baby Bear (2010)

• Dumb Bum (2011)

For some reason, I stopped getting roles. This is everything the producers would say when I was getting rejected:

“This role is designed for a little boy. You aren’t little anymore”

“Come back next time when your parents teach you healthy eating.”

“Cute is what we’re looking for. You’re not it anymore.”

I never really understood why they were saying this to me. Dad nodded his head in agreement.

“I knew this would happen…” he whispered under his breath every time.

Dad would always yell at me every time I got rejected. He sounded so angry. I could hear the anger and disappointment in his voice every time I was refused a role.

“IF YOU WEREN’T SO BLOODY BIG, THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!”

Mum would always say nothing. Not even a sound.

I realised that as I got older, I got bigger. I know most people my age get bigger as they grow, but I literally got bigger.

“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GROW UPWARDS, NOT SIDEWAYS!” Dad yelled.

As soon as that happened, I didn’t feel good looking in the mirror anymore. Whilst Mum and Dad got pasta, I got a salad.

Enough about my past, let’s focus on the present! Today I start my first and final year of primary school. I’m going to a private school because my parents absolutely refuse to send me to a public school. I’m only going because my nanny doesn’t want to homeschool me anymore. She found me a “problem child”.

“We’re not sending you to a public school. No way. Those places are where all the dangers happen. All the worst people in Australia no doubt went to a public school!” Dad warned.

“Besides, you’re going to the same school your cousin goes to!” Mum said, faking excitement.

Mum and Dad didn’t like Zio Giuseppe’s family that much. They live in Liverpool, which is apparently one of the “roughest parts of Sydney”.

“Ugh! Please! They’re only going to St Constantine’s because of a scholarship!” Dad said, disgusted.

“All that aside, it won’t be that bad!” Mum reassured.

I am really excited to go to school for the first time! I didn’t really have any friends while filming. Most of the people on set were adults, and some of them were just plain weird. Some of them would always touch me in weird places. I didn’t really have a lot of friends my age.

Let’s hope tomorrow will be fun!

Love from Maurice!