Emotional Storm

  

It started so simple a nice off-shore breeze instilling an internal serenity within my wide-open soul.   Who knew it could have turned into something so destructive to do more damage than good.   The winds became so strong blowing my emotions around like a rag doll in an old junk yard leaving them tattered and torn.   The thunder cracked so hard it shook the very foundation of my heart opening cracks once sealed tight and making them bigger than ever.   Then came the lightning striking a hole in my soul so deep it made the Grand Canyon Look like a simple pothole.   It’s so hard to believe that such a beautiful tropical breeze could turn into a hurricane that blew away part of me I can never get back.

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

A loving soul such as yours never deserves to know the heart ache you have had to endure, that I have been witness in the time I have known you. You are as pure goodness as I have seen. You truly care about people and you are never afraid to let people to know you care. You are a hero to me in so many ways. Never lose that love you have my friend.


Great Job!!!!!!!

[Antony]

Dale, I hope this is just a poem and not what you are truely feeling and if you are, you did a great job of expressing yourself, the ripping out of a mans spirit is too often something us romantics have to swallow and our ego sometimes gets tangled into the equation, either way we suffer loss. The third stanza was just perfect and my favorite, it tells it all. Great job Dale.
Tony

[Larissa G.]

I actually think it would be better if the second stanza were cut. It would help with the flow and style, I think. Also, watch your tenses - they change between present and past and I don't think they should. Otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed the poem. Thank you for sharing it with us. As always, keep writing!

[Janice Ann]

This saddens my heart. Beautifully written my friend. "It's so hard to believe that such beautiful tropical breeze
could turn into a hurricane that blew away part of me I can never get back." Love does this, life does this...thanks for sharing...I loved it once again!

Janice Ann

[Brianna Brie]

Great metaphor and you used it from every possible angle. My favorite...can relate my friend.

Then comes the lightning
striking a hole in my soul so deep
it makes the Grand Canyon
Look like a simple pothole.

[Laura Sparkle]

"Who (k)new it could have turned/ into something so destructive/ to do more damage then good." Maybe?

"blowing my emotions around/ like a rag doll in a old junk yard" -> Goddess that image is so powerful it almost blew me away! I loved it Dale!
The whole piece struck me like a lightning bolt and pulled me nicely along with it in the depths of this great piece! Such depth and beauty is so hard to find in today's poetry. It almost makes me sad, but then something of this proportion comes along and it makes me smile and sit back, and re-read the piece four or eight times in order to absorb its beauty down to its very essence. It left me speechless and breathless, and by the third read I found the words to sum up how much I love this piece!
Always a devoted fan,
Laura*

[Legion]

Life and love will do that to you. Good take on it. Well done.