Epitaph

  

Mechanical rhythm…

 

Once connected heartbeat

Now out of synch

With the spirit

It has given life to.

 

Under the gun…

 

Letting the trigger

Do the talking

Taking a bullet

To stop the bleeding.

 

Out on the run…

 

Painting the town

With any color

Not already drained

Through lonely wounds.

 

Now I will write

My own epitath

While I still have time.

 

Here lies a man

Cursed by three little words.

They were his disease

They were his cure

They were what he lived for

They were the reason he died.

 

 

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Wow.. great emotions placed into this coming from your heart.. with deep flow and intensity dropping at the point of the doom of 3 words and where it can take us.. what I like about this is I believe this can touch many as the three words can be a variety of things such as I Love You.. I hate you.. Please marry me.. Please leave me.. and so on..with an unhappy ending... it represents 3 words that can break a person coming from someone close usually.. that hurt intensely from just those words and unhappy ending. The metaphor truly is endless... could even be words from a publisher saying You can't write.. or and other dream shattered by words as well if you really read further into it.. this should touch a large audience of people... great insight with a sad note... thank you for sharing.. I hope things get better.. great work! =)

[Gandré]

Oh.. This was really powerful strong poem; a perfect epitaph... absorbing..such a genuine note about a soldier this was my favorite: "Now out of synch

With the spirit

It has given life to." ----this was brilliant.

[Gheeneil]

This seems to me about two people who no longer shared same passion they once had. Love could mean life and death to one, depending on one's perception, of course. Sadly, one believed the latter in this piece. "Taking the bullet to stop the bleeding" could mean suicide. I'm not certain though.

[TamiViolet]

So sad, Dale. You've had such a rough time losing your mom. I know how much you love her. This piece leaves me confused about those three words...? Could they be 'I love you?'.... I know that love can become a reason to live...or to die.

The mystery renders one speechless..............

X

[closed account]

this was agreat piece of work, very deep and sad
the best poetry comes out of raw emotions
the rhythm was superb; the titile was perfect!!

[Babbette Francis]

WOW!!!
~ Uh?
(shakes head- in amazement)
.......thinking.......
WOW!!
WOW!!!

I loved it all!
In my faves it goes!

[Katherine Wyatt]

Awesome! Those three little words hold so much power...we have no idea how truly important they are ...often not until they are withdrawn..so well done...

[Amanda]

the power of your words never ceases to amaze me, Dale...the flow and imagery you show here are great. that three words can make and break one, be everything and maybe nothing at all in the grand scheme of things, but they can shape what we are and who we will be.

nice work here, my dear.

A @};-

[Wicahpi]

WOW! Great Epitaph!

If I was going to have one,
it would be just that in a nutshell.
However, this soul is going to scatter
the winds....

Great Write!!

[jen]

this is fantastic.... i love the structure of it....the awareness of your words... looking at a life in a real and vulnerable way....