The Tide Brings Me Calmness

  

I walk along the shorelines

In my mind

My feet sink into the sand

Leaving an impression,

Like the words you said…

 

HARSH like the currents

Slapping my heart

Like a rock formation

Needing the attention

No matter the sacrifice.

 

I feel the undertow calling…

Wanting me to walk out

And drown in the loneliness

Calling the ocean floor

My new home…

 

Then came the miracle sounds,

The tides whispering words

Of hope and inspiration

And suddenly my soul was calm…

 

And you are the tide

That brought my heart ashore

And saved my life with

CPR from your soul.

Reviews

[!FireCracker!]

Now that's just sweet! i like using the ocean (sea, beach, what-have-you) as representation of people, you know this, because it just works. you can take so much from the natural wonder and apply it to life, people, love, anything really. And here you've molded and crafted this into the heart- and it's flawless! i'm rambling i know it- but i like to talk about things i adore, and this quallifies!

[Winter McPherson]

This is an amazing poem, Dale! Bravo! You used every aspect of the beach to express your feelings. The tide, the sand, the rocks, etc. Very well done...

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

Beautiful! I always get very romantic, clever metaphors when I read your stuff and the last stanza did it for me.

"And you are the tide
That brought my heart ashore
And saved my life with
CPR from your soul."

Very dreamlike, always delivering! I applaud.........

[An owl on the moon]

Always love the ocean (miss it!) and so I connected immediately to your imagery. Here the ocean with sound and fury becomes a place of peace. So powerful and perfect like a painting of the sea...

[Flame DM]

Lovely write as usual. love how you show the different emotions from harsh and bitter to the calmness in the end, tides and the storm, didn't think of it that way. Two thumbs up dude!

Flame

[Bethany Woody]

I really like the idea you have going here. The imagry you use in the piece is great. But the piece is a bit confusing. You talk about two people or so it seems. One has caused you pain and the other saved you from that pain, but who is who? You don't really seperate the two from each other and you call them both you almost as if the are the same person. I know it is posible they are the same person, but that just makes the piece more confusing becaue you don't really tell us that it is the same person and how they caused you pain and then redeemed themselves to be able to save you from that pain.
Other then the confusion between the one or two people in the piece I thing it is good, it just needs a little work.

[emmajoy]

This is love, love, love ... and that combined with the sea and everything it gives, makes for a very lyrical and warm piece of writing. There's such a comforting almost hynotic sound to the flow of waves running up and down a shore.. it's like a giant heartbeat in a way and I know it always makes me part of something very special.

'And you are the tide / That brought my heart ashore / And saved my life with ..'

Have to say, like another reviewer, not really sure about CPR, the letters are too bold for such a deeply emotional poem.. even though the use is clever in its way.

Thank you so much for sharing, Dale..

[Alice Oiseau]

I liked everything but the CPR. It just... CPR doesn't have a very poetic connotation and when put in a poem, especially as metaphorical as this one, it's out of place.
Watch out for that when writing.
Aside from that, I love the metaphor and images created.
Cheers.

[barricade]

WOW!!! what a write...lovely flow...certainly has a freshness to it...love the imagery here...and the comparisons that follow...

"My feet sink into the sand
Leaving an impression,
Like the words you said�"

so deep...these lines itself leave such an impression...

"Then came the miracle sounds,
The tides whispering words
Of hope and inspiration
And suddenly my soul was calm�

And you are the tide
That brought my heart ashore
And saved my life with
CPR from your soul."

wonderful lines...my favorite...

a true beauty, this write...fresh and unique...leaves the reader with a subtle tingle...
great work! keep it up!!!

regards
barricade....

[cilla]

Tranquil and peaceful � love is truly music for the soul. You conveyed the wonderful sense of love's healing power.

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Oh how inspirational this one is.. truly.. great flow with divine meaning to someone special.. yes it is amazing at how sometimes we can feel saved.. in this case you were saved by someone being a person in the form of hope and inspiration:

Then came the miracle sounds,
the tides whispering words
Of hope and inspiration
And suddenly my soul was calm�

And you are the tide
That brought my heart ashore
And saved my life with
CPR from your soul.

I hope you don't mind if I put this one to favorites as it is really that great to me.. thank you for sharing!!! =)