Love Me Tinderly

Happy swiping

Swipe left,
Swipe right,
Swipe left, right, left
Walking in a trance through the land of love bereft

The art of connecting without breaking a sweat

“I’m on here to meet people,” we lie to ourselves, browsing through humans like items on shelves

Pick up the box and look at the back
“Some mutual interests, but a little too fat.”
“Shorter than me? Can’t deal with that”
“Really likes dogs, but I’m into cats”

After hours of swiping, finally a match!
A new person to talk to and emotionally latch
Gifs, jokes, and swift replies galore
This person’s the one I’ve been searching for

We chit and we chat about this thing and that
Building a foundation that forever will last

After two days of talking, I’m finally ready
To set up a date with my new special lady
I come up with a schedule
A plan perfectly hatched

But when I go to invite her,
I’ve been unmatched
And it’s a full 12 hours until my next batch

Well, guess it’s time for Pornhub. I’ve got an itch to scratch.