[not titled yet - suggestions? ]

Was sick today, so I decided to write some poetry. Here it is, completely unedited, though I will certainly edit soon as this sorely needs it.

I laugh at you

Pennies dipped in the finest liquid diamond

Cracking your whips at the whispers of rustling grapevines

Until only their burdened stems remain forgotten

I despise your offerings

Raw flesh with eyes attached to the weathered fingertips

Deemed worthy for only the needles pricked in every pore

Until the drumbeat ceases with the tightening of twisted strands

I sip your lies

The blood colored flag swathed in the cross of dying cotton stars

Honoring the annihilation of the budding weeds in Destiny’s garden

Aimdst the waves of pristine indigo blooms faltering at her China wrist

I commend you.

Some may only die once

You have fallen from your mount of superiority as a goose excretes its waste.

Author's Note

I like my opening, but it goes downhill from there. What was I thinking on the last part? It doesn't even make sense. I feel like I need to add another "I..." in there too. Do you have suggestions?