Death has come

A personal nonfiction poem about when I was in active addiction

My pain was never your fault
It was only mine
It will forever be my fault

I’m sorry for everything
You cried many nights thinking I was dead
Somewhere on the side of the road
Perhaps inside someone’s house

Within me was a darkness
One that I just couldn’t seem to shake
Attached to me like a child’s favorite blanket

I had a favorite blanket once too
But now all stuck on me was sadness
A seemingly never ending sadness

I came close to dying a few times
I yearned for Death’s sweet embrace
All he gave me was a push back to the curb
Along with a slap to the face

Reviews

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Sam,

Very heart-wrenching thoughts set to pen of page here ...

Marve

[Atominizer]

F**k his negating self
cowards exist to only take energy
succubus he proven
his control is of his manipulative psychology
let him be a driven
absent ones self

Letting his control win
is of a weakness
relying on your whims
builds himself stronger with your very eagerness
take your energy back
fight and burn until he is no longer

[Betty Hermelee]

some of us embrace death, either because we are in so much pain that death seems like heaven; some people are fearful of dying and will do anything to keep themselves alive.... it seems that in this piece...you may have tried death a few times, but never quite got there, because you still embraced life, even if it was just a wee bit....living in darkness in ghastly and sometimes one feels trapped and can't escape... never sees the light... but always try to see some good in life ,even wen depressed..... very difficult to write about, so honest....thanks for sharing,
Best, B

[red93]

Praying for you Sam. Remember 'The Darkest Hour is just before the Dawn.'

[carl]

had a friend recently who passed on after a prolonged painful struggle of failing health, she told me she was ready to go, had enough of life's struggle. I guess in that way death's embrace could be sweet. hope and pray things will turn around for you and you will enjoy life rather than look forward to its end. -carl

[Coyote Poetry]

I do understand the poetry Sam.
"I came close to dying a few times
I yearned for Death’s sweet embrace
All he gave me was a push back to the curb
Along with a slap to the face"
The above lines. I have done. Once I sought death and Death told me. Ain't your time yet. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry. I did enjoy.
Coyote