Feel to be Free

Feel to be Free

A Poem by Drew
"

Alright just wrote this today. Haven't finished it yet.

"
Not even poetic imagery can begin to describe my misery.
Suffering and pain not yet physical, but only because the blade I hold in my hand is too dull.
Now pressed hard against my skin, trying to let out the sorrows trapped within.
But this time I press too deep I've gone to far.  I've done something more than just leave a scar.
And as I lay there fading in and out, you are still all I can think about.
Back to when we were together like it used to be, a time before all I could think of was "how could you do this to me?".

© 2010 Drew


Author's Note

Drew
Alright. I'm still trying to think of a way to end this. Tell me what you think so far though. Thanks.

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Reviews

so much how i feel, you're not alone. this is so wonderful, and so sad. you're talented.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Oh my gosh..... that was seriously touching and heartbreaking.. if you need to talk about this you should totally message me I guess we do have one thing in common...

Posted 9 Years Ago


i think this should end like this... "then i died, the end"
lol.... you know, cause it was coming anyways.. (:
but all in all, i liked this..just because i love anything
that talks of some type of murder/suicide. (:
good poem. (:

Posted 9 Years Ago


the idea isn't original enough to be striking in the context expressed imo.
and that pretty much says it all. strive for structure, originality and reduce as much of the wording as you can. i believe you can turn this into a really effective poem with more effort in the dynamic-scape..you're a great writer, keep it up.

Posted 9 Years Ago



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638 Views
4 Reviews
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Added on June 1, 2010
Last Updated on June 1, 2010
Tags: drew, knife, blade, suicide, depressed, sad, alone, pain, suffering, sorrow
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Author

Drew
Drew

MA



About
I'm a laid back guy, easy to talk with, like having fun and partying. Just started writing a little. Please read my stuff and give me honest feedback. Thanks a lot. more..

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A Poem by Drew


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A Poem by Drew