Cold

This trap
like mice in a cage
No escape
trapped in a maze

Spiraling
Spiraling
Winding
then unwinding

We rock back and forth
like in a ship at sea
Weathers rarely pleasant
Storms brewing beneath

Strange lights flicker
like a haze through the iris
My mind racing, trembling
im frightened just like you

My mind racing, trembling
Spiraling, Spiraling
Winding
then unwinding...

Reviews

[Effector Prime]

hmph seriously July, your breaking my heart.

[Jasmine]

The last two verses are probably the best, but I want to be honest with you and say that the poem isn't very imaginative. I'm looking for something more. More feeling, better description, stronger similes and metaphors. It could be great, with a little work.