Future Barrier Revisions

Hello, and welcome to what I hope will be some good and useful revisions to the now 3-book saga, "Future Barrier."

As of a month ago, I had run out of my "Drafts." That is, the chapters I had considerably worked on while back in Xanga (a new defunct social meeting site years ago). These drafts I had transferred from one computer to the next until I was ready to post them in here, Writer's Cafe.

As this was all I was working on at the time, they were good and accurate and followed in the correct plot and in chronological order.

I had thought in my head starting with chapter 42 that I remembered the whole story to this point and just dived right in. But I had forgotten that in chapter 18, the police had already arrived at the scene of murder and fingered the perpetrator as Stefani.

If you read current chapter 46, you will see that I write about the police AGAIN visiting Scant's residence - for the first time.

So ... that's a problem.

To be on the safe side, I'm going to re-read all of Future Barrier 3 starting with the first chapter, and make certain the story is in good and correct order making changes as I go.

I know many of you were hoping to see brand new chapters in the next few days, but let me do a little housecleaning here and try to get it all as one sequential story. It should be a lot better and more enjoyable to read then.

Hope to see you there ... Click on any of the links below to go directly to that book or special edition.

FUTURE BARRIER - BOOK 1
(74 chapters)

FUTURE BARRIER - BOOK 2
(71 chapters)

FUTURE BARRIER - BOOK 3
(46 chapters - so far ...)




CHARACTER SYNOPSIS

Reviews

[dw817]

Chapter [54] "Problems At The Pool"
http://bit.ly/2K3jvnn
You ever write a chapter to your book sometime and then realize, hey, that doesn't look very good ?

Well I was thinking this just about the last chapter I wrote in Future Barrier, the 3rd novel.

Maybe I was dwelling too much on the past or just didn't have my game face on when I wrote it. In any case, I scrapped most of it and restarted. Instead it may cover 2-3 chapters before it's finished, and without the unnecessary violence of knives and guns.

Please find newly entered chapter HERE:
http://bit.ly/2K3jvnn

As this is a direct revision, sometime later this week I'll post the results of the race in a new chapter so you get two for the price of one. Hope to see you there ! :)

[dw817]

Chapter [44] "Stroyka"
http://bit.ly/2r3hZcy
Stroyka is a bit of the word Perestroika, a word meaning, "policy or practice of restructuring or reforming the economic and political system." I learned it back in history and wanted to use it for Dev to represent that he held a "favor."

The "favor" is a mark, much like "The Scarlet Letter." In this case instead of being marked for condemnation or damnation, it means the opposite. That Dev is untouchable by not just those creatures of darkness, but of light as well (as will be detailed and written in later).

In any case, this chapter will almost be rewritten from scratch as I have some different ideas on what I want "hell" to look like.

+ Great deal of rewriting. I filed away some of the story too as it will be revealed in chapters outside of this one.

Chapter [45] "Who Mourns For Stefani"
http://bit.ly/2HvH6Qk

+ I'm not seeing too much to change. This chapter was written only last month so I can't think of anything to add to it. Will leave it as is for now.

Chapter [46] "Scant Is Arrested"
http://bit.ly/2r2wsW1
As you remember, I wanted to remove the part where Scant is arrested back in chapter 15 so it can be worked out neatly in here and in multiple chapters. Let's see if any changes or corrections are needed.

+ Just a few cosmetic changes.

Chapter [47] "Scant Is Arrested"
http://bit.ly/2r2wsW1
+ The usual clean-up. In this case, I used too many of "she" and "he" so I changed them with the actual persons names.
. . .

That's it for now ! This was the last chapter to revise so I'm taking a break. Chapter 48 with Tyr's story to the police will be written brand new, this Monday (04/30/18). Have a great weekend !

[dw817]

Little bit of a hesitation as I get out "Lost In Translation" and "Burning Sky," but we're back. Let's continue the revisions and do 4 today.

Chapter [43] "The Conjuring"
http://bit.ly/2I2tgBN

This chapter is about summoning a demon for vengeance. Now while I have never summoned a demon myself in real life, my Mom did so years ago. And you can laugh if you like, but they are indeed very real and very scary.

They "borrow" what is around them when they come to life. In this case with my Mom, a demon came from the knotted wall ahead of us. The wooden wall pushed itself out and a very horrible figure appeared with an awful mouth of shadows and sharp claws, like it was clothed in the same design of the wall.

Almost like it could not completely manifest itself in its own original image and had to "make use" of what was available around it.

Hmm ... In any case, here is the chapter's revisions.

+ Added a bit more detail, well, to everything. This is an important chapter as Lorraine, the demon, will be seen for several more chapters to follow.

+ Gave a bit more of a "seductive" look to the demon so Dev is helpless in her sight.

[dw817]

Saturday is here. We're finally catching up to where I left off.

I suppose I should point out why most of these nightmares involve the bathroom and babyfood. As a child, I had very mean babysitters; abusive. My Dad fired so many. And during that time I had terrible nightmares of going to the bathroom even just to wash my hands because of the invasive nature of these babysitters.

Getting "swirlies" back in Elementary school did not help my dreams either. Couple that with an abusive girlfriend as early as 3rd Grade, and you have all the brain fixings of one twisted and deviant story, Future Barrier, as you see it today.

Let's begin.

Chapter [39] "Tricked And Trapped"
http://bit.ly/2vtXevU
+ Quite a bit of conversion "she," "her," Stefani," and "Tyr." trying to get them just in the right balance.
+ Fixed a few problems in the plot that were written in a confusing way.

Chapter [40] "Flushed Away"
http://bit.ly/2vtXoDw
+ Nice. This chapter was just about perfect. Only a few corrections were needed.

Chapter [41] "A Promise Of Returning Home"
http://bit.ly/2F67WID
+ I am a little puzzled as to why I wrote the chapter of Stefani being so compliant at the end despite not seeing the magical link between Dev and Tyr. But that's fine, she gets hers - that's what's important in this book.

Chapter [42] "Death Becomes Her"
http://bit.ly/2Jdz9vj
+ A little confusion in the writing when Tyr summons the Stefani "copy" to murder her. Fixed.

+ Changed destruction of the universe to destruction of the planet. Otherwise I think the Chronosphere guardians would've sent more than just 2 beings to rectify the situation.

That's it for now !

It's not fair, my swimming pool is open here but it's not. I called the main office and they said it'll be open next month - yet they removed the lock and left the gate open for everyone.

Darnit, I want to start up my daily exercises again:
http://bit.ly/2Hjehqc

[dw817]

Welcome to Friday !

Are you at work ? Well the weekend is upon us and now you can catch up on ALL your reading, right ? :) Let's get started.

Chapter [35] "Where Yin Meets Yang"
http://bit.ly/2HPkLKf
+ Renamed the chapter, I think that has a cooler sound to it.
+ Added some more Japanese text for Yang to speak.
+ Added clarity of who is speaking by including names where necessary.

Chapter [36] "A Hard Lesson To Learn"
http://bit.ly/2HfPd3e
+ Gave a bit more definition to Dev getting kicked around by the girls.
+ Added words to describe the Karate maneuvers a little better.

Chapter [37] "Practice Dummy"
http://bit.ly/2qPWQ5v
+ My my ! Lots of additions. This chapter certainly is a mess, making grand corrections.
+ Double-checking the Japanese words are correct and match the situation.
+ Rewriting a lot here, making it easier to read and with greater detail to events.

Chapter [38]
http://bit.ly/2F4xciu
+ Read it out loud to find grammar errors. Found a few spelling errors too.
+ Not much more than that.

That's it for now. Have a great weekend from work. See you tomorrow with 4 more. If you go to the beach, be sure and put on some sunscreen !
http://bit.ly/2HjfWb6

[dw817]

Thursdays are usually a good day. I have ample time to work on my writing. As it is, I am also in the process of repairing someone's computer. They do come to me for that as I've had some experience in this.

Well, let's see. I think it's possible to tackle 4 chapters today. Here we go !

Chapter [31] "So Trusting"
http://bit.ly/2HhVc7T
+ Some of the plot was confusing so I both removed and added items to maintain congruity.
+ Gave a bit more thought to the words regarding inner thoughts of both parties involved.

Chapter [32] "Down The Drain"
http://bit.ly/2HCIDDj
+ Added some definition as many passages were difficult to read.

Chapter [33] "Perdition"
http://bit.ly/2F3byLy
+ Added a few more internal thoughts by Stefani to the whole ordeal.
+ Gave a bit more definition to the perdition Daniel found himself in.

Chapter [34] "Chasing The Dragon's Tail"
http://bit.ly/2vvtIpD
+ Renamed the chapter (if you were sharp enough to notice).
+ General fix of commas, periods, and run-on sentences.

[dw817]

(04/18/18) Hello.

Today is indeed going to be busy, but I think I can get through 2 of these before I have to leave for the day.

Chapter [29]
http://bit.ly/2vmULDz
Wow. Stefani is just evil incarnate, isn't she ? I'd forgotten how nightmare-driven these chapters are. In a word, very.

+ Minor corrections removing and adding commas "," Story of my life really.

Chapter [30]
http://bit.ly/2HHD6Jb
+ Several corrections. Adding and removing commas. Adding and splitting long sentences. Basic maintenance throughout of story.

That's it for now. I need to leave in an hour and won't be back for several hours. Take care ...

[dw817]

(04/17/18) Good noon to you.

I have often been puzzled by writers claiming to run into a "writer's rut" or a "writer's block." If the material is already there, isn't it that much easier to write about ?

I have been blessed to be able to include whole years of experience in my real life directly in this silly books. I have no lack for want and need no such encouragement to continue my writing. It will always be there, and likely - I will never be able to write enough, although I had planned to close down the Future Barrier story sometime after a well-filled 4th book.

Apologies for quoting Jack Nicholson as the Joker but, "So much to do. So little time." as a writer.
http://bit.ly/2qHJrfs

Let's get started then.

Chapter [25]
http://bit.ly/2EVu5Js
+ Nasty little chapter. Okay, changed a lot of "her" and "she" to "Stefani" and "Umeya" so a difference could be established between the two.

+ Gave a bit more definition to the "nightmare machine" or "Phobic Probe" as it was properly called.

Chapter [26]
http://bit.ly/2JTHyFB
Hmm ... I had forgotten just how incredibly evil I had made Stefani. I think in many ways I made a monster that is beyond my control. Fortunately, she gets hers in the chapters to follow.

+ Did a bit more conversion of "he" and "she" back to names for clarification.
+ Cleaned up some of Stefani's sentences so they were easier to read and understand.

Chapter [27]
http://bit.ly/2EVbahY
+ Basic clean-up of multiple "he" and "she" again. Nothing serious.

Chapter [28]
http://bit.ly/2JVU9rF
+ Gave a bit more definition to the Kotatsu incident.

+ Remembered that Stefani needed to give the soldier not just Dev but the tape recorded from his memory about the plugin that Arkos was interested in.

[dw817]

(04/16/18)
Good afternoon. Just yesterday evening I was watching an interesting episode of the original Twilight Zone series called, "A Nice Place To Visit." In it, a very bad man thinks when he is shot he went to heaven.

What's interesting about it especially is that in this heaven, he gets absolutely everything he wants. And most importantly, to win at any games of chance.

But no, he CAN'T lose, at any games of chance. Roulette, Slot machines, even playing a simple game of cards with conjured girls for his amusement. He later realizes that he is in hell and this is his personal purgatory. To never lose.

I may have been premature in my writing and rendition of "hell" in the last chapters of this book, as saying it was like a hell-themed carnival.

My writing in these last chapters is especially impressed upon what I saw in the 2nd Hellraiser movie. To me it was just about PERFECT. The "flower" of the definition of hell, not just the labyrinth, the "terrible" diamond thing in the center that forces people to relive trauma.

No, it was the private rooms of hell all perfectly designed for each individual's tastes. Likely when I get to that chapter I will revise hell to be especially to Dev's tastes of what he think heaven would be like. I will have to give it some thought. :)

Once again I was questioned as to my writing style and the direction the story flows. I want to make it in such a way that a handful of skewed people would really like it, but most normal people would say that is silly beyond reason, completely insane, and even written at an obsessive level - which pretty well describes my work.

I haven't quite found my center on this style or design. Hmm ... In any case, let's get started. I'll do three revisions today and more tomorrow.

Chapter [22]
http://bit.ly/2HIYLRv
+ Added more of people's names to sentences where it seemed to get a little confusing and convoluted.

+ Bolded the "greatest sorrow" definition

+ Added more emphasis that in meeting this strange and beautiful woman in this dimension the team traveled, that all previous life to that point was a dream, and being with her, now, was the only reality there ever really was.

Chapter [23]
http://bit.ly/2JQURGL
+ Some of the order of Jenkins' demise were out of position. I corrected this.
+ I added a bit more detail to the Volchitsa woman. I felt it important to describe her in high detail.
+ Made the lingering memory and image of her to affect the remaining team members even further.

Chapter [24]
http://bit.ly/2JPJD5h
+ This is an important chapter. I didn't want anyone to be able to "take" the plugin from Dev so back in chapter 36 of the 2nd book of Future Barrier, you remember that Darceon from the Spectral universe had infused Dev with the plugin - so that it was actually part of his being. I emphasize that in this chapter.

+ Reading this chapter out loud, I have made several corrections and additions so it it is easier to follow.

That's it for Monday ! Hope to see you tomorrow and can tackle [4] revisions then. :)

[dw817]

(04/13/18)
I see my G/F tomorrow so likely I won't have much time to work in here. So I'll tackle 4-chapters for today. It will take a-while but I think the results will be worth it.

Chapter [18]
http://bit.ly/2GVXut8
+ Big change. Removed the police scene entirely (as you remember I wanted to stretch this scene out to some full writing starting with chapter 46 and not just a few paragraphs.

+ Did a little comparisons using some online measuring tools. A creature 25-feet in diameter is too big for what I had in mind. Also the tentacles seemed a little short for the kind of attacks it did so I lengthened them. Also gave the creature a bit more definition.

Chapter [19]
http://bit.ly/2GVzTZi
Someone back in Xanga once asked me where on Earth I got the idea for such an awful creature as in this chapter. I told them, before my meds were balanced I would have terrible nightmares sometimes. Real Stephen King stuff. A good portion of my scariest writing can be found HERE:
http://bit.ly/Pj425o
While that may be good reading for you, to me they were full-blown psychotic episodes in the brain. I would wake up screaming in the night.

However, now my meds are pretty well balanced so those days of night terrors are over. Nonetheless, they do get written into my stories, this chapter in particular. And there are other scary things I dreamed I haven't yet written about.

+ Back to corrections. One problem I have with most of my writing is I use too many commas "," I try not to. Usually I read the sentence out loud and see if it sounds right with the correct pauses. I'm seeing a lot of extra miscellaneous pauses here so I'm correcting that.

+ Originally I had penned the victim of the beast to be a guy but I wanted to change it to a woman. So at the moment there are some "he" and "she" out of place. I'm fixing those now.

Chapter [20]
http://bit.ly/2vf1Fuu
+ Removed a whole lot of "Johnston" and "Flair" to replace with "she" and "her" as this chapter primarily focuses on Flair being inside the belly of the beast. Reads a lot better and easier now.

Chapter [21]
http://bit.ly/2EKaZWH
+ Replaced Johnston with Flair as first-names are more memorable when reading stories.

+ Didn't need much more than that. A few run-on sentences converted to multiple lines. Some paragraphs updated with removal of too many ","

And there you have it. 4-chapters completed today. I'll tackle more this Monday. (04/16/18) Have a great weekend !