Why Love?

Why Love?

A Poem by Dylan
"

First poem. =/

"
People are always striving for love
Love is an emotion which isn't quite earned
Children are unknowingly comforted by it's embrace
Once it's gone, it can't always be returned
And for most people it is an endless race
It is felt by some from a god above
Others can't describe it, it is something they feel
It is treacherous, but it can also be as pure as a dove
But for me... I only wish that it could be real
It shatters worlds, It breaks hearts
It makes us stumble and fall
But for a lucky few it lands like a dart...
We know what love is, but why is it felt at all?
...
I can't answer that. I can't do that math
All I know is that It's an adventure in which we all partake
I'm on mine now and I must have forgotten the map
I see her, I just can't find the path.
 

© 2010 Dylan


Author's Note

Dylan
Please give constructive criticism. As you may know, I lack confidence.

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Featured Review

This is really skillful, neat and has a lovely flowing rhyming scheme that works right down to practically every syllable. The subject of the poem might not be new (obviously, it's love!) but the way in which the sentiment is conveyed, and the tender longing that comes with it is beautifully put across. Good work.

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Searching for love, I understand this all to well. Good job.

Posted 13 Years Ago


You may lack confidence, but you certainly do not lack skill.
I'm glad you took the time to write this, and even more glad you took the time to put it here.
As previous reviewers have said, the subject is not new.
Yet, it's always a subject that people are willing to read about.
I've known people who hated poetry, but when they read about love, they instantly fell in love with the poem.
Well, I enjoy reading poetry, and I enjoy reading about love. Your feelings were portrayed quite well in this writing. As this is the first of your poems I have read, I can't wait to read more (:
Excellent job.

Posted 13 Years Ago


It's funny how so many of the greatest writers have expressed a lack of confidence in their abilities. Did you ever read "Where the Red Fern Grows"? It's one of my favorite books. When you get a chance, google the author of that book. His name's Wilson Rawls. He was a person who felt that he had great stories to tell...but lacked the writing ability to ever be recognized. Eventually he just gave in to the urge to write, and became one of the most noted American authors ever.
You have great talent. This piece is wonderful. Millions upon millions of works have been written about love. That's because every person experiences it a different way and, until we understand the emotion fully (which will never happen) there can never be enough words penned in attempts to define it.
Your poem is tender, descriptive, and gorgeous. Great job. I look forward to reading more.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well, like everyone else has already told you 60 times, this is a beautiful poem and you shouldn't lack confidence because it's really good. I empathize which made me like it a bit more.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I really enjoyed this piece. As Devons said, its a common subject but you wrote it in a very uncommon way. Its not sappy or tragic, just thoughtful. I think you did well with your rhyme scheme as well. Nice work.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this was just lovely. The rhyming scheme was perfect and the flow was great.
though the poem was really good overall, the last stanza was a bit of a downer.
keep it up! keep writing! that's how we all get better :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like it the way it is.
This is wonderful. I found it beuatiful really.


Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was very good. Nice rhythm and flow. I do agree that there are some uneccessary words in the last stanza that make it a tad awkward, but aside from that it is a very good write.

"for a lucky few it lands like a dart..." Wonderful line! Keep at it. You are doing fine!

~True

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hey, Dylan! Children do know when they are loved. They just do things to be loved always. I think the last stanza is a little too wordy. To admit that you "lack confidence" is just the beginning to wanting to be a good or even great writer. Thanks for sharing. Keep it up. Good Job!

Posted 13 Years Ago


Hmmm.Wonderful! A rhythm would've helped, but i'm not complaining.And forget that rubbish about self-confidence.All good writers have fantastic self confidence,and so should you.I love the ending.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 13, 2010
Last Updated on May 13, 2010

Author

Dylan
Dylan

Atlanta, GA



About
Well, I'm a shy guy. Once you get to know me though, I can get very talkative, spastic, etc... Anyways. I probably won't put much stuff up here because I lack self-confidence, but hey, I'll give it a.. more..

Writing
The Truth The Truth

A Poem by Dylan



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