Reply to a Hillbilly Poet

Written in the Hillbilly vernacular on purpose, this is a reply of a friend of a hillbilly poet who asked him what he thought of his poetry.

 

 

 

Reply to a Hillbilly Poet

 by Eddie Davis

 

Are you nuts,

Now don’t be silly,

You ain’t no poet,

You dumb hillbilly,

 

Well, heck,yeah,

I’ll tell you why,

But promise me,

That you won’t cry,

 

You can’t rhyme,

Chew gum and walk,

You’re unschooled,

Can’t even talk,

 

You don’t use,

No purdy words,

All your poems,

Are for the birds,

 

Spelling ain’t,

your cup of tea,

And you write,

So sloppily,

 

I’ve watched you when,

you try to type,

You get all mad,

And start to gripe,

 

Then say “shoot!,

I just don’t care”,

And close up Word,

for solitaire,

 

Seems like you,

Would let it go,

Just watch TV,

And take things slow,

 

But you claim,

That you just know it,

You got the gift,

To be a poet,

 

I’ve heard you say,

That fortune calls,

But your best works,

Are on bathroom stalls,

 

And those who read,

Those lines of wit,

Only read them,

As they sit,

 

You ain’t published,

So don’t stand tall,

It doesn’t mean,

A restroom wall,

 

You say you’re blessed,

But I’ve got news,

There ain’t no thing,

As a White-trash muse,

 

Your kinfolk,

Are from Arkansas,

I know your clan,

Your Dad and Ma,

 

I know that they,

Are as dumb as you,

Now don’t get mad,

You know it’s true,

 

Not a one,

Is worth a lick,

So actin’ so smug,

Just makes me sick,

 

So I don’t know,

What else to say,

Just post your junk,

To Writer’s Café,

 

Let ‘em read it,

You’ll have a fit,

When they tell you,

You ought to ‘quit!’,

Reviews

[Rachelle]

Ha! Ha! Ha! Insulting yet witty. Pity the poor struggling hillbilly with a muse!

[Eddie Davis]

Thank you. Yes, that is a bad combination...

[Rachelle]

Still, though, there's Gray's "Elegy in a Country Churchyard"..... Our poor redneck bard might be an unknown Milton......

[Eddie Davis]

That's true. I have in mind a sequel to this poem called 'White Trash Muse', but I think I'll have to think on that one a while. I have a friend who writes that has a series of really funny tales about a modern day redneck that inspired me to write this. If he ever decides to put these stories out there, they will be hugely popular.

[Rachelle]

I hope we haven't offended anyone. :(

[Eddie Davis]

Hillbillies and rednecks are usually quite proud of the titles, so I don't think any will be too offended.

[Rachelle]

Though, I must admit, I have yet to rub elbows with a redneck bard....

[Blue]

You used to be generous in your compliments now your insults are overflowing here. ;)

Witty, hilarious, entertaining! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, Eddie. Write more poems, please.

[Eddie Davis]

Thanks, Blue. Right now I have my poetry muse under house arrest until she finishes reading some classical poetry so I can produce something more intelligent.

[Blue]

Good luck with that. :D

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Oh, no no. Someone has awaken the sleeping dragon. LOL.
Just let it out... But I hope everything will be okay.
Always smile. =)

[Eddie Davis]

Thanks, Dhaye, I've written more poetry during the past two weeks then I have in 28 years. I plan to stop now, if I have to duct tape my muse to a chair. ;)

[Eddie Davis]

"Purdy" is hillbilly for "pretty". Take my word for it, I know...