mist

3

bury me, patiently
don't rush this ceremony
i am your slow death
your last whispered breath
begging
patiently
slow and deep
don't rush this ceremony
you are killing me

Reviews

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

This words are somehow sad,
The narrator is expressing a mind drowning hopelessly in the ocean of goodbye.
He wish not to go but the situation left him an optionless choice.

Well written, Edie. It's been a long time.

[Chris Shaw]

End of a relationship. The protagonist isn't ready for the end and asks for patience, take more time. Having said that the situation is killing them. Difficult situation. A clean break may be brutal but in the long run is best.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i feel the speaker is talking about his or her heart dying...
and the other is suddenly ending the relationship quickly, with great force.
the speaker wants to hold onto the last moments a little longer.
j.

[Edie Blue Starfish]

thank you for this comment, jacob

[Ted Kniffen]

There is something mysterious going on here. The protagonist asks someone to "bury me" and yet in lines 3 &4 states
"i am your slow death
your last whispered breath"
so, I pick up a discussion with Death...who has come to claim a reluctant soul.

Probably wrong, but That's where I've gone.

A good write, Edie...lots there to think about.

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Hi Ted. Thank you so much for that comment!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Dark indeed and a little unnerving as the protagonist pleads for a slow death. Flowing freeverse that fair spills off the page.

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Thank you very much for your comment, John.

[PaintedBirdy]

makes me want to hold you, baby, but i'm an internet-friend and i know boundaries, but damn you got a hold of me. woman you're a golden ring. some good man better find you. blue starfishies are now in!

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Thanks for reading and commenting, MondainGarcon.

[PaintedBirdy]

you're welcome! i care about you!