Domestic mermaid

There is some flamboyant secrecy

beneath the under-curl of an umbrella,

                                 and my breasts.

 

I decided to rid my skin of its dry

shadow so I turned the bathtub

faucet loose and warm, water-flesh

bled free.

 

I watched the level rise as I

held myself from the air.

 

quater-full

     half

                  mostly full

 

and let the water spill over the

edge, bloom like sunset across

the cracked-tile floor.

 

Delighted, my nerves quivering like

a plucked lightning streak,

I turned on the bathroom and

kitchen sinks, slipped the garden

hose through the window and let

water fill the house that had been

dry for too long.

 

Content, I sat against the living room

wall and felt the edges of my soul glisten.

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

Aquatic surreal that sounds as real as a photo realist painting. This is gorgeous and elegant.

[eglantine]

thank you :D

[cilla]

Perhaps a piece for the Theater of the Absurd, it is nonetheless a very witty and downright fun romp for one woman's path to liberation ... and a lesson to be learned by us all. Yes, it shares in many ways a kinship with the story "The Yellow Wallpaper" (as someone else mentioned) and reminds that one woman's journey is often a journey all women share ... as the edges of collective souls glistens.

Wonderful work ... wildly inventive ... as always ... clever you!

[eglantine]

thank you as always cilla!

[Nobody.]

Well, now I want a bath! lol!

This is beautifully written. Detailed and filled with sensory words. I quite enjoyed!
Cheers!

[Hidden Happiness]

how can you write so beautifully?!
hey could you review some of my stuff? i think i need to improve and im 10 reviews away from a badge.:-).

[demureminds]

I really liked the organization of this as well as the vivid imagery. Very nice use of language too, the flow was lovely.

[Eloha]

This sounds like a lose moment of mental health, but I like the outrageous depiction, it's just itching to turn into a confessional poem, but never seems to completely make the transition.

[eglantine]

first off, yes, it was a bit of a frayed mentality, and second, yes I feel as if there is something climbing out of the seams but got stuck. I must try to pry it out!

[Eloha]

Don't be afraid to translate your stress into words without filtering, frayed and prying is good. I'm glad you can translate a bit of chaos.

Confesional poetry to me is writing as emotional therapy. And God knows, we sometimes all require a bit of honest disclosure and underhanded distribution of our vulnerability.

[bob, small b. aka invs]

good thing this is metaphorical. sounds like a lot of water damage.

i love how visual this poem is. i could see the water overflowing the tub and sinks. i watched the sunlight glistening off of the rising water. it looked wonderful. and it felt just as good. like a thunderstorm after a long drought. very cool poem.

[eglantine]

thank ya!

[Melobldnfr]

I find this reminiscent of Charlotte Perkins Gilman (The Yellow Wallpaper). Considering it was a read in high school, and how long ago that was, this should say something as to how affected I was by it.

And your works are up there, Hon.

I really appreciate this piece. I've read it several times already. Each time various lines ring louder than the last. It is just...

...visceral. Also: surreal and wonderful. Xo. Thanks.

[eglantine]

thank you very much :) I'll have to look into The Yellow Wallpaper. I've not heard of it.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

note to self: when you hit refresh your review disappears
I will try again
it's like you cracked the moon in order to immerse in its oceanic bliss
"nerves quivering like a plucked lightning streak"

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

now everybody breakdance like it's 1639!

[eglantine]

lol noted as well.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

one day you're gonna wear a sequined elvis outfit and bust out your best disco moves and it will start an old school revolution..thus spoke lefty-shape-shifter

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

it's 10am and I'm loopy and please other readers do not not review this because of me