Burnt

Burnt

A Poem by Elizabeth J. Gelinger
"

About cigarettes and goodbyes.

"

The cigarettes

That burn my throat

Don’t burn as much

As loving you

And this smoke

That clouds my eyes

Cannot deceive me

Like your disguise

There's not a fire

To light my soul

Just like you did

When I was whole

It doesn’t matter

How much I try

Nothing will kill me

Like your goodbye

© 2016 Elizabeth J. Gelinger


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Reviews

Whoah, this is powerful! Your rhymes kind of went a bit sloppy in the beginning with "throat" and "you", but the power the poem has overall renders such a "flaw" virtually invalid. This is really good, and really relatable! Well done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


I wish you'd of written more long form poetry, I've read some of the Haikus on your page, there are some killer lines in those. I will say, in way of advice, punctuate this poem, it'll give the reader a better sense of the beats, you get so much control of the reading of a piece through punctuation. also I think the word you want is 'light' (present tense)' not 'lit' (past tense).

Posted 7 Years Ago


Honest and powerful words and thought.
"It doesn’t matter
How much I try
Nothing will kill me
Like your goodbye"
Those goodbyes shall haunt us forever. I liked the realistic feel of the words. Thank you Elizabeth for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago


dark and conceptual to a t. well done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Beautfully written yet so sad flows so lovely really bringing the poem to life


Posted 7 Years Ago


Hi Elizabeth I thought your poem flowed just beautifully, and I enjoyed the comparison of the fire of the love and the cigarettes. Sad as the poem might be I enjoyed reading it.

Blessings

El

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elizabeth J. Gelinger

7 Years Ago

Thank you for the review
Smoking and love, lost or held fast in soul and body, two subjects I find welcoming, and here well treated. Wonderful flow that transitions in seamless light and shadow.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elizabeth J. Gelinger

7 Years Ago

Thank you for the review

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385 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 5, 2016
Last Updated on October 8, 2016
Tags: cigarette, burn, burnt, love, poem, unrequited, goodbye, smoke

Author

Elizabeth J. Gelinger
Elizabeth J. Gelinger

Pasadena , MD



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