More Than What I See

Folks can give up everything to fit into something. The results are almost always wrong.

I wanted to know that I am more than what I see.

I wanted to believe that I had a purpose and destiny.

However, the soft voice of darkness called, and I listened too hard.

It lured me with money, sex, and distraction, so I dropped my guard.

What could I do? 

When my momma died, all my family and opportunities were gone!

Hurt and abandoned, I gave folks my body and still felt alone.

Who am I?
My momma used to tell me I was a blessed Black King.

Momma, how can I be a King when I don’t own anything?

I crash on friends’ and enemies’ couches with nowhere to go.

I have been beaten, robbed, and molested by everyone I know.

How can I love?

How can I show love to the happy brothers and sisters I see?

How can I love those who, by chance, do better than me?

I know hate is wrong, but at least it is something I own.

Hurting folks makes me feel I am not in this Hell all alone.

Do we all share this fear?

I robbed a Black man last night as he was walking home.

I beat him, took his money and left him silent and alone.

A Black man, he knows what it means to be angry and scared.
Beating him didn’t give or take anything that wasn’t already there.

Who Am I?

I was a Black kid once, like the ones you see growing up today.

However, neglect, abuse, and hate have helped to guide my way.

I am gonna be that King that my Momma claimed me to be.

If I can’t do it with love, I’ll use hate to drop men to their knees!

Yet…

In the deepest parts of my being, I want to be better than what I see.

I want to be a Black man that can hold his head up in these streets.

I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t know how to rise or escape.

I need God or someone to show me a way out of this self-loathing and hate.

Reviews

[Chris]

We are always "told" to write what we KNOW... live... are connected to, and usually our best has our self within.

I don't like the man described above, but I don't have to walk in his shoes OR be him ...he does.
This write IS powerful but very, dark. I'm not a do-gooder, I don't aim to change people BUT for me this man needs to awaken and find the person he is within. The only real change comes from our own choices. Just this once I will or will NOT do something - just this once ...over and over.

Hell of a write.

Chris

[Eddie Phillips]

Sadly these types of men are out here more and more often. I try to mentor many of my younger brothers to be better. You make a great point about finding the person within and choosing to do the right thing. Thank you so much for stopping by and reading the poem.