Looking out a window. . .

Looking out a window. . .

A Poem by electricsatori

I am now remembering a past life where
I walked into my son’s room
and he was sitting silently by the window.
He said he was looking for other children –
on other worlds who could understand
how it felt to fall in love at a young age.

I didn’t think much of it then but now
I’m called back to wonder
if that past life is still
happening in the timelessness of infinity?
And, if it is – could I reach out to him?
Let him know I’m looking out the window
and still thinking
about my child from another life?
 

© 2008 electricsatori


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This is so full of emotional content! However, my feeling from it is that you tell me what to think and feel as opposed to showing a situation or circumstance and allowing me to arrive at my own feelings. In other words, I think you are dealing too directly with the subject matter. There are no metaphors or similes here, and unless the whole poem is a symbol for something else, no symbolism either.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is so full of emotional content! However, my feeling from it is that you tell me what to think and feel as opposed to showing a situation or circumstance and allowing me to arrive at my own feelings. In other words, I think you are dealing too directly with the subject matter. There are no metaphors or similes here, and unless the whole poem is a symbol for something else, no symbolism either.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh, what an eerie ending. It isn't clear to me whether something has happened to him or if you too are contemplating the other worlds. Either way this gave me chills - a very good sign. Nice, succinct write. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Light,
Siddartha


Posted 15 Years Ago



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2 Reviews
Added on August 9, 2008

Author

electricsatori
electricsatori

Las Vegas, NV



About
There are people that write because they feel that, deep inside, they have something to offer the world. They long for honey sweet praises and simple gestures that whisper to them "you are unique and .. more..

Writing