Moonlite boy

greet the moonlight then discover the sun

 

Slowly, he greets the tender night

Alone he wanders

Searching

But never finding

What his heart so eagerly yearns

Wildy dancing and dashing thoughout the moonlight

His smile never leaves his face

For inside his mind begins to race

Trickled before him a thought so new

While lovely whispers pass him by

Still he manages not to cry

Moving swift

And feeling free

He sings a song

To steal a glance

No longer kept in silence

From the sun's sweet embrace

free to drift above and be carried off by the sacred winds

to leaving nothing but his precious dust

Author's Note

its not great, i know i was just playing around with it

Reviews

[Jack Diamond]

This is actually cute.

IT's a bit short and does seem a bit rushed but there is s great deal of talent shown here. I think you should take the idea back to the drawing board. This poem shows real potential to something much greater. It's cirtenly better than you think.
Good work : )

[Charles]

Good effort for something you think is not that great. I'd like to see the thread and imagry of lines 1, 6, 10, 18 and 19 developed more - I think the poem wouls have more depth that way. Nice going.

[Flo]

its cute and lovely, I really liked it, sweet and simple,seems a bit rushed up,but nothing negative, well done :)
-Flo

[Alexander Z. Anthony]

Hey I like it! Don't trash your own work! lol =P
What is it that his heart eagerly yearns? Freedom? That's the conclusion I am drawing...but I fail at doing that sort of thing.
And why, would he be crying? Just wondering. I think if you cleared these things up and elaborated a bit the poem would be much nicer!
Kudos!
-Azza