admirer

Liz came down from the rust old  stairs she just could not sleep she was making choclate milk when she saw a camel colard basket through the glass door so natrely she went outside to pick it up when she did a not came out heres what it said

"i love you like a koala likes climbing like a squirl likes nuts and like Mr Darcy loves elisibeth benit until i am reconiced you will always be in my thoughts 

                                                        with all the love i poses your 

                                                                              secret admirer"

Liz could not stop thinking about who it could be!

Author's Note

its not done i will add more on difrent writing pages

Reviews

[Emily]

This is a good beginning for a story. I like the theme already but you did make a few spelling mistakes and the first sentence is a run on. It should go:

"Liz came down the rusty, old stairs. She just could not sleep and she was making chocolate milk when she saw a caramel colored basket through the glass door. Naturally she went outside to pick it up. When she did a note fell out."

After that I would put something about Liz reading the note instead of heres what it said.

Other than that you just have to put a comma between climbing and the second like, then another one between nuts and and. The only other thing is spelling: and ill put the corrections here:
squirrel
Elizabeth Bennet
Recounciled
possess

I know that seems like a lot to correct but it will make your writing more understandable. And even with all the corrections its still better than anything I wrote when I was ten. So dont get discouraged and keep writing!

[Jim]

Good. Work on that spelling.