Escape While You Can

Escape While You Can

A Poem by Eliza Valentine
"

It's kind of a song, written freehand to no music, never edited.

"

 

Escape while you can

Can’t you hear me as I whisper?

Gently in your ear

Don’t act like you don’t know me

You think I’m crazy

I’m worthless, I’m nothing

I’m just trying to save you from the fate I’ve saw laid out in front of you

 

Ignore me if you choose

But soon you will be

Nothing, just a memory

Of what you used to be

A shadow of your former self

You can barely keep yourself, alive

I was trying to save you from the fate I’ve saw laid out in front of you

 

You wonder why I care

You wonder why I’m here, for you

Don’t you understand?

The darkness is spreading over you

Soon to grasp you and consume you

Nothing you can do about it if you don’t take my hand

I’m here for you

I can help you

If you’ll just let me

Save you from the fate I’ve saw laid out in front of you

 

Ahh … if only you had listened

Ahh … if only you weren’t disturbed

Ahh … if only you listened to your heart

Ahh … it’s now only a matter of time

 

You didn’t take my help

The strong will rise the weak will fall

Now it’s my turn to stand tall

I watch you gasp for air

I watch you rotting in front of me

I watch you beg for life

I watch you as your life flashes before your eyes

I watch as the spark dissipates leaving your empty shell

I laugh as I feel freer than I have

Now I can concentrate on saving myself

From the fate that was laid out in front of you.

© 2008 Eliza Valentine


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Of all your poems I like this the best. As far as criticism goes I'm really not too keen on poetry so I don't think I can give you any valuable advice other than the fact that this one seems to stick out above the others. Any short stories?

Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on March 15, 2008

Author

Eliza Valentine
Eliza Valentine

Glasgow, United Kingdom



About
I'm currently studing Professional Writing and this has encouraged me to write in more genres and styles than I have before; so prepare for more new writing from me. I love writing fiction and some p.. more..

Writing