My Drug Addict Dad

This poem I wrote is about my biological father. He has been on drugs my entire life and has never been there for me. This is just a simple way to express how I feel.

Writing this poem

helped me replace 

what I want to 

say to your Face 

I sat up half the night 

to write 

hoping one day you 

will make things right 

Sometimes I dream 

about the day 

you will be clean

But it seems to be 

that's a day i'll 

never see 

You could have done 

a lot of things when 

I was young, 

but time cant be 

undone 

Instead of you kissing

me on the head 

and putting me to bed, 

I have to worry about 

the day you will be 

dead 

I wish you were here 

to whisper in my ear 

that its OK,  but the 

days are ticking away

I wish once a year, 

you would wipe my tears 

and get rid of that one 

fear you'll never be here 

I cant remember any 

memories together 

not even once did you take 

me to school in September

Wishing to have 

A good luck charm 

for that one 

hug in your arms 

I wish you could

see what was wrong 

that this problem 

between us is far 

from small    

I don't understand 

how you can ignore me 

and still call yourself a man 

You could really know 

who I am 

Instead of looking 

at a picture in hand 

I'm your blood too,

I guess it means 

nothing to you

Because when I fall 

and bleed

your not there to 

comfort me 

Your just not abusive 

physically but 

you have turned my 

emotions into a misery 

That's not what 

a dad should 

be 

This is my song 

it hurts deep, just like our 

relationship 

Its in repeat 

I've given you

Chance after

Chance but now 

I can barely 

give you a second glance 

It takes a man to 

be a father 

that's not what you 

are, so don't try

and fix that piece 

of my heart 

You should have 

been there from 

the start. 

Author's Note

This is my first poem that I have written and I have posted. I love feedback so please give it to me. Also, if you don't mind drop a comment if you think I should give this to my dad fathers day. Thanks!!!!

Reviews

[Sunburn]

There's no better way to express heart's feelings than the way you did here. I think it's beautiful throughout. The gentleness with painful memories attached inside each word. As a reader one can read through your words the pain and the heartbeat that the poet has gone through and how she still wonders about those days when she needed her father to be by her side the way a father should be. But that's what drugs do, they take away our dear ones, break down families and destroys life.

I really like the simplicity maintained throughout the poem, giving the poem a comforting voice. Well done!

[Aleana Johnson]

Thank you so much. Its difficult seeing people on drugs especially your family the ones your close to. I really appreciate the review.

[Sunburn]

You are very welcome... I know how it feels...

[Fio_cas]

I really found this poem emotional. I felt like it was pulling at the strings of my heart to sympathize with you. You have an amazing way of composing. Keep up the good work !!

[Aleana Johnson]

Thank you so much. I try my best to write the emotions i feel. Thank you for the review.

[Pete]

this is powerful and deep - the words and the feelings. real and raw. congrats on getting it out. perhaps you can be the person he is not?

[Aleana Johnson]

Thanks so much for the review it means a lot.

[Donicca Dona L]

I Found myself into this one, but my relationship with my dad its a bit different.
I can feel the pain of this little girl who is trying everything not to let her daddy go till she have enough. Strange no matter how much certain of people hurt us , there are some we wish they come back. We simply don't stop loving them.

beautiful written , hope to see more of your writings soon :)

[Aleana Johnson]

Thanks so much. 😉

[barleygirl]

This is a very clear & understandable message to your father. This goes to show that neglect is every bit as painful as hands-on abuse. The child's voice in this message feels like it's wavering between: "I don't care, it's not a big deal to me" . . . and "I want you to know how hurtful this has been for me." This ambivalence is true-to-life & well illustrated thru SHOWING instead of telling. I grew up in an abusive household & I confronted my abusers, but it wasn't as satisfying as I had been imagining it would be. That's one thing to keep in mind if you give this to your dad for father's day. He may need to hear this very much, but I would bet that his response will not be as satisfying as you might hope.

[Aleana Johnson]

Thanks for the review I appreciate it. Sorry to hear you also grew up in an abusive household. I know it's rough. Thanks so much though for this.

[DeezNuts2016]

Hey kID IT'S ME GABSTER
But out of all seriousness, I do see the beauty in this composition. Like the comment below me stated, it's a hard topic to discuss. You've honestly been through a lot for someone at our age, and I hope no matter what, nothing will tear you down to the point in which you lose yourself.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Most drugs affect the brain's "reward circuit" by flooding it with the chemical messenger dopamine. This reward system controls the body's ability to feel pleasure and motivates a person to repeat behaviors needed to thrive, such as eating and spending time with loved ones. Your poignant composition reflects the pain of being ‘replaced’ by a chemical evil substance. Well done for sharing this and keep praying for that ‘break through’ moment. Bless ….

[Aleana Johnson]

Thanks for reviewing... I will try not to lose hope but it's hard.

[Adam Adams]

You must send this to your father on fathers day or any day... just to let him see your emotions throu' these heartfelt words that he couldn't see in your eyes.

[Aleana Johnson]

Thanks for your opinion. I really hope it hits him hard when he reads it. Maybe it will open his eyes how bad he is affecting me.

[SelenaThomas]

This is a very good, very powerful work. There are a couple places where I think you could improve the overall flow of the stanzas by shifting a couple words, but those are things that get tweaked after reading the poem over a bunch. Given the topic, I'm sure its difficult to do that. For example though,
"Wishing to have
A good luck charm
for that one
hug in your arms"
Instead maybe:
"Wishing to have
A good luck charm
for that one hug
in your arms"
Ultimately this is your choice. It's a matter of matching syllables to see what you think sounds the best. Keep in mind the better flow your poem has the easier it is to read and understand. Another example, (somewhat flow, somewhat clarity) would be:
"I wish once a year,
you would wipe my tears
and get rid of that one
fear you'll never be here"
Instead maybe:
"I wish once a year,
you would wipe my tears
and get rid of my fear
that you'll never be here"
Again, just minor suggestions. In the end it is your poem and you know what you want to say and how you want it to sound. Those are just a couple places I felt didn't roll off the tongue as easily. Another thing that could help with this is maybe using more punctuation.
HOWEVER, those are minor hiccups compared to the overall piece. I think you did an amazing job capturing what this feels like. Also, writing can be a wonderful way to vent, I use it for that a lot. In addition, the more people who are brave enough to talk about things like this, the more others know they aren't alone. My uncle died just a couple months ago from a heroin overdose after a year of being clean. Every person is different and so is their battle but that doesn't mean the emotions of pain, hurt, worry, etc. are different. We are not alone. Lastly, this poem really goes to show just how powerful someone's actions can be to the people around them. When they decide to get involved with drugs, or gangs, or whatever it may be, they are also getting their loved ones involved. You show that perfectly. Their choices hurt a lot more people than just them and the people around them, a lot of times, didn't have any option in getting hurt. Well done, keep writing.

[Aleana Johnson]

Thank you so much. I love the advice you gave me and will definitely keep it in mind when I go to post again. I'm sorry for your Uncle. Not that long ago I saved my uncle from over dosing. I was the one who found him before he could die. I think that's what my next poem might be about. Anyways, thank you for this review it means a lot to me and i'm glad it could connect with you. I greatly appreciate it.

[SelenaThomas]

No problem! That's rough, I think you could make that experience into a great poem and again, a great way to connect with and teach people. Also, I forgot to mention, I really enjoyed your last 3 stanzas. They really drove the point home and sounded great. I'm always a huge fan of a really strong ending, that's what your readers walk away with and that's that's what will get them to come back.

[Aleana Johnson]

Thanks again. I really try hard to put everything I have into it. I just want people to understand how a adult, child, or teen like me who has people like my dad in there family to understand there not alone. I want the addicts to see what they do to people.

[Coyote Poetry]

You did very well. A powerful and worthwhile poem. You wrote on a hard topic. I lost four brothers to drugs. Drugs are demons. Easy to find and impossible to lose. I hope you keep writing. I have used writing to gain my sanity for 50 years. Thank you Aleana for sharing your amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Aleana Johnson]

I'm sorry to hear that you have lost so many important people to you over drugs. Its amazing how a small thing such as a pill or a needle can ruin a person life. Also, I have been writing a lot more as he gets worse and it has definitely helped me cope. Thanks for reviewing and sharing your experiences with me. I really appreciate it.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome and I hope to read more of your work.

[Aleana Johnson]

I will read and review some of yours to. Also, I will definitely try and post more. Thanks again.