Lemon

Lemon

A Poem by black.butterfly
"

bittersweet flavour of life

"

Lemon


Since life kissed me on the lips,

it showed me the sweet taste of bitterness.

My sun went through an eclipse,

letting stars show the way to happiness.

 

Time knocked on the door, no hello.

It told me about the taste of goodbye,

saying hey, lemons are always yellow;

you have to taste to know the reason why.

 

It is the bittersweet flavor of life,

fresh, within my heart mesmerizing.

So splendidly Full of serenity and strife.

It is either devastating or tranquilizing.

 

© 2010 black.butterfly


Author's Note

black.butterfly
hi, so here's a new poem by me. I would appreciate constructive feedbacks. :)
enjoy reading.

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Reviews

I think your choice of words is a bit mixed there is no way that a lemon is sweet even a little so there is no bitter-sweetness lemons are at best tart, and at worse sour I think I see what you are trying to say but it is very obscure

Posted 10 Years Ago


I didn't see much relationship (or didn't understand it) between a Lemon and this poem, yet I enjoyed reading this. Great writing.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Your poems have an odd beauty to them. It took my mind some precious seconds to quiet down to realize it.
Very good structure, and adequate rhyming! Nice!

Posted 11 Years Ago


there is something different about this poem than a couple others I read but did not review of yours. Even though it rhymes it has a gentle flow and is not harsh like blue and you but rather you mixed it up a little bit and with your creativity I am impressed.

Posted 11 Years Ago


very thoughtful... I like the line..."It is the bittersweet flavor of life"

Posted 11 Years Ago


Awesome! I loved your use of colour in this poem. Very sensual, and one of the best I've read for a long time.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Simple--that's what I like best! Your metaphor to life is solely concise.
Life is bittersweet, for sure.

My favorite lines:
Since life kissed me on the lips
It showed me the sweet taste of bitterness

Sweet taste of bitterness---clever opposition!

I truly enjoyed this!
Keep writing,
Alex

Posted 11 Years Ago


I would add periods and commas to control flow. Without them you're not supposed to stop at the end of the line, thus making your rhyme without purpose. If you add them, though, if makes the poem much better.

This was a good little piece, though, just needs some polish.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Very wise words in a very creative metaphor... sometimes we have to go through heartache to truly appreciate love. Very nice... certainly one of your best.

Posted 11 Years Ago


awww i just loved this! well done!

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 18, 2010
Last Updated on June 26, 2010
Tags: life, poem

Author

black.butterfly
black.butterfly

somewhere in this world



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