Suicide Watch (Poem)

Suicide Watch (Poem)

A Poem by ericdeben
"

Don't give up all you have when you don't know what you've got.

"
Standing at a rooftop,
Ready to jump,
My life will soon be over.
I'm giving everything up.

I look down at the pavement,
Stories beneath my feet,
There's no turning back now,
So I brace myself for eternal sleep.

I am falling ever so slowly,
When I reconsider,
Life could have been great.
Is this really worth my surrender?

I grab onto a window sill,
But my hand slips off.
Save me, God.
Bring me back to the rooftop.

I hit the ground,
Thinking "this is it, this is it"
But God has given me another chance;
Another chance to live.

So here is my lesson...
And please give this some thought:
Don't give up all you have
When you don't know what you've got.

© 2011 ericdeben


Author's Note

ericdeben
This is based off my screenplay "Suicide Watch" check it out if you liked this :)

Also, I put "God" in there even though I personally don't believe in God.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I think it would have been better, my person wording, without "God" since also I do not believe in 'him'. But I do agree with the message and tho I haven't tried this method of doing it, it's well captured. You can see the acrophobia in the speaker too.
Good write

-Marie-

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is really good. Reading all I could think is that it relates to me, what I thought a couple years back. Very wonderful and put together well. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


True stuff, and I think the inclusion of God, whether you believe or not, shows the desperation of man in situations like this.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Excellent read :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


I think it would have been better, my person wording, without "God" since also I do not believe in 'him'. But I do agree with the message and tho I haven't tried this method of doing it, it's well captured. You can see the acrophobia in the speaker too.
Good write

-Marie-

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked it. Well penned and executed.

Posted 12 Years Ago



2
next Next Page
last Last Page
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1055 Views
15 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 22, 2011
Last Updated on August 22, 2011
Tags: suicide, death, life, watch, film, first, noir, poem, version 2

Author

ericdeben
ericdeben

Some town, MA



About
I'm 15 years old and I'm an aspiring filmmaker. When you review my writing, don't just shower me with praise; I can use all the constructive criticism I can get. I'll be taking creative writing class.. more..

Writing
Changes Changes

A Poem by ericdeben



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..