detours and distractions

detours and distractions

 

 

 

a country lane of the heart

love like road kill 

lay upon pavement of pretense

thought i saw movement,

life,

 

but then throughout the years

and past affairs that darted out into 

a traffic of terse response

i thought i saw movement,

life,

 

but the rear view mirror

proved otherwise,

just blank highway,

desolate intersection

 

on-ramps closed for construction

and me driving with one foot on the clutch

the other braking hard,

against the delusion

that what appeared in that mirror

was closer than it actually was.

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/715

Reviews

[Cryingkate]

Well done comparison of wreck-full driving and wreck-full living and Love lifes.
Sometimes we do leave dead carcass on the road behind us.
Sometimes the detours are great and some end up dead ends.
One thing for sure we all find out is as you said:

"that what appeared in that mirror
was closer than it actually was.
Yeah with hind sight we do see things a bit differently.

For what it's worth:
I really enjoyed the poem and craftiness of this write Jacob. It was a bit hard for me to reply in a competent manner that reflected what you were saying.
With this one I wanted to just enjoy the read and let my sub conscious brain just enjoy it.
Without trying to understand it or explain why I liked it..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but just enjoying poetry and letting kind of seep in is the best approach i think...sometimes we attempt to over analyze and then kill the enjoyment of the read...

j.

[Cryingkate]

I agree and it does become more enjoyable.. However, How do you do a review?
How do you let the writer know you read it sincerely?

[Jimmy Yetts]

What a wonderful piece of work!
Top-notch stuff that cleverly connects.
A metaphorical monster!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Jimmy...

j.

[rubie]

wonderful use of the metaphor.

that's the thing about road kill...when we see it, we should consider it a warning that there could be unexpected hazards on the road...

we are always trying to change gears and brake at the same time...often too little too late.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, rubie.
j.

[maricoona91]

Hi,
I really like this poem. It is very subtle and quick, but holds a lot of power that needs reread a few times to grasp. It feels like a look at ones own life and a realization of the death that lives within us. Beautifully written.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and i really like your interpretation...thank you for your insights, Marina...

j.

[...]

You keep driving like that your gonna f---k up your "transmission", burn out your clutch and perhaps kill a Purdy doe with big soft eyes. Laughing I'm gonna give you a ticket and make you take a safe driving course, sir. lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

your response made me chuckle...thanks for that lynn....

j.

[...]

I like it when you chuckle...you're welcome :)

[KWP]

love like a road kill - oh man ! I don't think I have ever seen love described as such - and alas - there was no life left so no point in stopping - do point and yet we remain there in that moment - not prepared to accelerate - just in case - just in case love's life returns - ahhhh

this one speaks volumes of heartache - if we could only just throw it from the trunk of the car and leave it all behind ...

I like this - it kind of punches you real slow .. X

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, KWP---i like that "punches you real slow" nice paradox...

j.

[Adam Adams]

Oh.. seemed, you been just passed or have been passing throu' the shades of illusion badly that got you real bad. I believe, "detours and distractions" are being stuck with the voids - the emptiness - to the core of deepen world that further stopping people "breathing" or walking the "JOURNEY" of their life well... very deep poetry you've come up with. Great job!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Adams..

j.

[Zugzwang]

We're all travelling down the same highway, but I'll be damned if it isn't always my car that's breaking down. And it's nobodys fault but my own. This poem spoke to me Jacob. Love like road kill and the rear view mirror were standout metaphors for me. Powerful stuff.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Zeitnot...
j.

[alifeacoustic]

Missed signals and all those detours. You plan for one journey and take another. Well penned Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, alife.
j.