at the station of inevitability

at the station of inevitability 

strangely delayed,

love's terminal

waiting,

destination driven too strongly

by abstract infatuation

waiting,

the tracks heated,

electric subway underneath the cloak of midnight

sheets melded to skin melded to blue moons

waiting,

where are you?

ticket in hand,

last stop, me

i'm holding my breath

i hear the moment coming

there are vibrations on the track

waiting,

feeling you near,

then, 

a face looks out the window

at a glance, i saw 

counted the hearts disembarking

yours not among them.

now,

waiting,

for the next train.

Reviews

[alifeacoustic]

The torture of waiting, expectation then more waiting superbly penned. Those stations are the loneliest, coldest places on earth, where time defies reason by running backwards.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, alife...

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

I felt the anxiety of waiting, some of the lines translating into poetic elegance, great piece.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Al.

j.

[Corset]

Jacob this is brilliant :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the kind words, Corset.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Wonderful metaphor. Not sure it is wise to continue to wait for that one special person to get off the train. That fantasy person created in our dreams who may or may not exist. Perhaps it is better to remember the song from the 70's....love the one you're with.....and always, my friend, be a best friend to yourself. Good metaphor here. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, lydi..and yes, stephen stills, great song...

saw him in concert...and he did that song....we all stood and danced...

j.

[David Scott]

I saw the theme here I think. "Waiting... waiting... waiting,"
No longer will I wait to feel love Jacob. I claim it within. I am learning to really, truly and deeply love who I am without another. I have spent my life detesting who I am and needing someone else to love me enough so I don't feel like ****. No, not every moment, but it was a trend.
Today, I can accept whomever walks off the train of circumstance and take it or release it for what it is. I hope it will last. Ha.

A very deep and meaningful write to me Jacob. Thank you for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing how you relate to this...i appreciate your words, David.

j.

[W.k.kortas]

It's a little different from you, structure-wise, with an unusual number of short and one-word lines and stanzas. Normally, I feel the same about this kind of lining that I do about rectal exams, but this is Exhibit A as to how it is done right, emphasizing the right things without diminishing the deftness of your wordplay at all. Marvelous work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ugh, rectal exams...my urologist's name is Dr. Hatchett...how is that for a name...and they don't feel good...so i am glad this didn't hurt so much...
j.