burning too close to the soul of me

burning too close to the soul of me

 

 

 

autumn oracle

losing grip

like barnacles to a whale

big love loses its leaves

like disfigured pages of poetry

 

in the cold wind of goodbyes

your note flummoxed me to the ground

and my blues were raked into maple colors

extravagant sorrow

a visual circus of emotions

 

and then came winter's reality

and i shut the door on you

so tightly,

not the slightest draft 

could find its way into my heart.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/24/16

Reviews

[Carolynn]

Amazing Jacob - I loved the analogy of immense sorrow in a tragic goodbye such as this - and what better way to lick your wounds than to shut the doors of emotion so tight they can't get back in ... But be sure you have good weather stripping though or that draft just might creep back in ;)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, have to check that stripping..thanks for reminding me..:)))

[WittyWonka]

The finality of the closing lines hit home for me. Must be some great calking or one heck of a seal. I love your command over figurative language.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Witty...

j.

[Kelly Scheppers]

What I'd give to be able to write like this.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you write beautifully Kelly...and often have lines i wish i had written...

but, thank you for the kind words,
j.

[Lyn Anderson]

A very final feeling poem. Closure.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, KL..

j.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Seasonal depression and it's polar opposite running circles around both mind and soul....together...but apart...your note flummoxed me to the ground... your love blows me away!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Queenie...

j.

[Paul Bell]

Summer love, the perfect breeze.
Winter blues. Shut the door, find the draft excluder.
Heart holed up. Do not disturb.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

quite the poetic reply...thank you, Paul....and i will not disturb!

j.

[...]

This is amazing! Just the title alone...sigh...I love it, Jacob, all of it, every line. Sometimes you blow me away. Wish I had thought of this...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, lynn.
j.

[Alice Poésy]

The comparisons here are breathtaking. Losing a love like autumn losing its leaves is such a wonderful image. Nature's tears for a summer full of salty kisses and evening laughter.

Beautifully penned, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Alice...

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

these lines especially speak to me
"extravagant sorrow
a visual circus of emotions"

we sure can be extravagant in our weeping ..no doubt about it when it hurts so bad ..and i can't believe i have just read a poem with flummoxed in it ;)))))) love it! wish i had done it first :))
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, my friend....:)))

j.

[Ruth]

Seasonal change always brings a chilled and fluttering reflection, like those leaves that fall, we too lose colour and retreat at times...beautiful Jacob :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Poppy...appreciate your visits.

j.