still smoldering coals

still smoldering coals

 

 

corpses of lust strewn

tongue-tied evidence

in a morgue of regrets

the "wish i had said that's"

embalmed with the "i just didn't care then's"

if only the sensual risk taking

hadn't imploded into "physics only" metaphor

 

implication of immoral fortitude

is merely strength in tears now

your hands never touched me again

and my heart never got to touch yours

 

but it could have,

 

if only my eyes weren't dimmed to the truth

in the backseat barbecue

of youth.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/12/18

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"in the backseat barbecue
of youth."
I love that phrase. I guess youth does blind us in many ways..and throughout the rest all we do is cradle those never healing wounds...
This is rich in metaphors. I always get so much after reading you, Jacob. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Yumna...

j.

[Michael Oliver]

Again again and again - hits the mark perfectly might as well give up writing and let you speak for me Jacob
:-)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind with your review, Michael.
j.

[Mark]

The veritable pinnacle of Metaphor Mountains!! And I say that with the highest esteem!
Wonderfully written Jacob!

Mark

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Mark.
j.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Wow, metaphorically speaking, you cannot be touched...and that's all I'm going to say!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Kelly.
j.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Good to see you, Jacob, as always!

[Ana Papaya]

sometimes the chemistry is right but the timing is all wrong
things sit on the burner too long or not long enough, or the temperature wasn't right
but the reaction lingers for so long

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Ana.
j.

[Verse]

Something worth grieving, is what came to mind as I read and re-read this piece. I loved the shroud of solemnity drawn over an act of love from the past. It’s not often that tears are shed for something so far removed from the present, which shows just how deep this person’s influence was.

Only one small suggestion on L9: is should actually be are.

The real sophistication of this write, for me, is the statement that one heart could have touched another. The fact that we are reading about it makes me wonder if that heart wasn’t actually touched after all.:)

A sweet little write.

V

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind review, Verse.
j.

[Verse]

My pleasure. :)

[andrew mitchell]

you never ever appreciate youth until its gone.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so true, thank you, andrew.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Melancholy infused with pretty memories and an inexplicable bit of hope.
Heartbreaking!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Jimmy.
j.

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

Our youthful mind may smolder,
yet our body resists the burn,
carried upon our shoulders,
above the stripes we've earned.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Valormore.
j.

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

Thank you Jacob for your awe inspiring words.

[emmajoy]

We're hit, tapped, stroked by what our hearts and others' tell us to do or not to do.. and i wonder just how often how, in the future there' ll be regrets for not stoking the fires. It's often a case of 'fools rush in' or 'go jump over the moon. Only two choices, say quickly.. then, do it! Just out of interest, what's so wrong with being out of Youth - and, still feeling alive?!

A finely worded post to learn from.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for your kind words, em.
j.